If you have just recently broken up with your partner, you are probably asking yourself “how can I get my ex back?” You may be feeling impatient and want to get back with your ex right away, this is very common to experience after a break up.

You may start feeling emotionally depressed, and you may begin to wonder what you are supposed to do next. Then you realize that you want your ex back, and you call or text them and beg them to come back to you. If you haven’t already done this then don’t! Just ask yourself, if you were the one who ended the relationship and your ex called you and started begging for you back, would you take them back? I don’t think so. Acting desperate will only harm your relationship even more.

Instead, you are going to work on improving your relationship with your ex. And this requires you to do the exact opposite of what you’re feeling. Do you want to sit around all day and feel sorry for yourself? Do you want to call your ex, profess your undying love for them and beg them to get back with you? If you answered yes to the above questions, you need to change your thought process, and these tips should help you to do that so you will no longer be asking yourself “how can I get my ex back?”

Step 1 – The relationship is over (for now), accept it.

Most importantly, you need to acknowledge the fact that a breakup is occurring. Accept it and tell your ex that you are fine with this (maybe even suggest you were thinking the same thing). Start the process of moving on. By doing so, you will relieve the built up stress and tension felt by both parties. Both you and your ex will have time to yourselves to think about the relationship and whether you are still in love.

Step 2 – No contact!

At this point in time any unnecessary contact between you and your ex is going to be counterproductive, you need to give your ex time and space to think and to miss you. This may be the last thing you feel like you should be doing, but by doing this you are giving the impression to your ex that you are moving on and you are doing fine. Give them time to miss you and you could have your ex back sooner than you think.

Step 3 – Plan ahead.

Once you have gone through the motions of the above two steps, you need to start to plan on where and when you should meet, and what you are going to say to your ex when you do meet up again (remember, no desperate attempts!). This will allow you to judge your ex’s feelings towards you, and also the chance of you and your ex getting back together.

Getting your ex back is almost always going to be more complicated than above, and a lot of the time you will need a lot more help specific to your problem if you want to get your ex back. Try not to be irrational, and develop a plan or strategy to help get your ex back, doing this will maximise your chances of getting your ex back!