This Article is About
love
broken heart
step at a time
guilt
honesty
turmoil
marriage
men and women
feelings
mistake
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Are You Longing To Fall Back In Love After An Affair?
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Have you discovered that your spouse has had and affair, but you still have strong feelings for them, and want to find the love that you once had, and are longing to fall back in love again.

It is very difficult when you discover that the love of your life has cheated on you, and has had an affair.  You feel like your marriage is now spinning out of control and you feel like your world is falling apart, but there is help for you, your spouse and your marriage.

There are many individuals, both men and women, who find themselves tangled up in an affair.  They are married and now find themselves involved with someone other than their spouse. 

You have always been in love with your spouse and they have been in love with you.  You both still love one another, but due to some weak area in your marriage, a huge mistake has been made.

What is your next step, what is your spouse going to do.  Your spouse has ended the affair, and is so regretful and sorry for what they did, they are actually more upset than you.

You are the one with the broken heart, you have been hurt by the one person that you trusted most in the world.  But they are having to carry around the guilt of what they have done to both you and your marriage.

If you feel that your spouse is being completely honest with you, the affair is definitely over, and you both want to rebuild your marriage, it is possible.  You can rebuild your marriage with love, trust and honesty.  You will have to take things one step at a time, but it is very possible to make your marriage better than it was before, and fall in love again. 

You and your spouse will have to work together, and at times it may seem almost impossible, but the bond of love can weather a great deal of turmoil.  You can get through this together.

There are three major areas that must change in your relationship for you both to begin rebuilding your marriage, and regaining that strong bond of love.

1. You and your spouse need to start being more open with one another.  They need to start sharing their life and activities with you, and you need to do the same for them.  Make your thoughts and actions transparent to each other.  You both need to let the other know where you are going, who you are going to be with, and what you are going to be doing.  This will make it easier on each of you to know what the other is doing, and will begin to rebuild the trust that you have previously shared.

2. You and your spouse have to learn how to deal with your differences of opinion in a calm and respectful way.  You do not want to be having a discussion about something, and end up in an argument.  Listening and voicing your own opinion in a respectful manner will help you create a greater feeling of caring and understanding which  will give you both a greater feeling of love.

3. One of the biggest problems all couples have is the lack of communication.  You may not be sure of how to talk to your spouse about some things, and you feel uncomfortable, unsure and insecure. You both are going to have to discover where you both have a problem communicating, and start working together to improve communication.  Creating better communication will work wonders in helping you move closer together, rebuild trust, rebuild your marriage and fall in love again, after the affair.


Street Talk

I would not waste my time trying to fall back in love again. Once is enough.

Reply
  about 6 years ago
Rebecca7  

My husband and I have been together for 9 years (dated one year, engaged one year and married 7). My husband has had an affair with someone he swore was just friends. For about 6 months I tried to convince myself it was just friends. I asked him straight out if he was having an affair and he swore he wasn't. I tried to become friends with her (even going out for a 'girls night out') but it just didn't work. He stayed friends with her. He and I began to see a therapist to try to find a resolution (of course he thought I was the problem) and the therapist said straight out that a marriage doesn't work like that. I thought our marriage was over til one day he came home and totally removed her from everything (phone, facebook, etc). Come to find out they were definitely more than friends. I want our marriage to work out and so does he but it seems like the love is lost between us. It even seems awkward to sit in the same room together sometimes. I know we can work past this (we are still seeing the therapist) but it just has been so difficult. Has anyone else felt the same way after recovering from an affair... and revived their marriage?

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I think your point about the lack of communication is really important in this article. It seems like many couples lose sight of how important honest communication is in a relationship. Listening to each other in a way that is non-judgmental and completely open, in my opinion, is the best way to achieve this kind of real, deep communication in a relationship. Great article.

Reply
  about 8 years ago
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