It’s known as “being dumped” for a reason.

When your significant other announces out of a clear blue sky that he or she doesn’t want to continue your relationship, it’s quite understandable that you feel you’re a charter member of the trash set on the curb for collection day.

It’s even worse if you don’t know why. If you are seeing someone else and your partner found out, or if you have addiction problems, or if you’re abusive, that’s one thing. But more likely than not, the closest thing to a concrete explanation you’ll get will be something along of the lines of “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I’m just not that into you anymore.”

That leaves you alone, confused, shocked, and left holding the (garbage) bag. What to do now? You decide that you’re going to fight back, that’s what – you’re going to find out how to WIN your ex back!

So you do what seems to be logical and civilized. You launch a phone, mail, and e-mail campaign that would do a polling company proud. You apologize profusely for every single infraction you can think of, including not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. You tell your ex that he or she is your one and only. You either stay glued to the phone or computer in case a message comes in -- you might even try meeting your ex accidentally on the street. But none of those things work. Why?

In your state of emotional overdrive, you’re not seeing the big picture – you’re trying to cure a fourth-degree burn with a band-aid. Instead of trying to turn what you see as your ex-partner’s hatred into back into love, you should be trying to turn what is actually his or her indifference back into hope. You don’t accomplish that by being needful and desperate – that only confirms your ex-partner’s decision to dump you.

Knowing how to win an ex back consists of actually understanding why you were dumped, healing your personal wounds, and being able to determine if your relationship is indeed worth fighting for. That requires reaching out for the guidance of those experienced with saving relationships: if you HAD been dumped for being abusive or addicted and you wanted to win your ex back, you’d go straight to the nearest professional, wouldn’t you?

There are online resources that have helped tens of thousands of people just like you how to win an ex back and go from being dumped to being reunited. Taking a little time to come up with the right game plan will give you the best chance of joining them – and it will give your ex the chance to start missing you!