This Article is About
smackdown
eternal bliss
life mate
guilt trip
soul mate
married couple
beautiful woman
audio books
free time
rejection
Being Single Vs In A Relationship - The Smackdown
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Being Single Vs In A Relationship  -  The Smackdown

"Ding, ding, ding! In the red corner, potential eternal bliss with your heaven sent soul mate, to have beautiful children, build a home and have somebody there for you through tick or thin, in sickness and in health. In the blue corner is a lifetime of freedom from obligation, to live your one life the way you want to and the freedom to be with and be who you want! Gentlemen, no punching below the belt and keep all hits clean.....LLLLLLLet's get Ready to Rumble!!!!!!!!!"

This very debate has been ranging for decade, possibly centuries. I say decades with the possibility of centuries because since divorce became prevalent, Women’s rights became equal to men’s, sexual liberation seems to have no boundaries and the human race is vastly overpopulated and western people tend to be less inclined to want to have any kids at all.

There are many relationship audio books dedicated to this subject and yet the debate still exists.

Is it really better to be single? Is being in a relationship bliss? In your head maybe....

I am here to state the obvious, "When you're single you want to be in a relationship and when you're in a relationship you cannot wait to be single".

I love the chase but I hate rejection. I love to flirt but I love to be flirted with even more. I love my free time but I love to confide my thoughts in a pretty woman that I feel close to. I love to cuddle up on the couch with a beautiful woman, but I love to travel alone. How do I reconcile this? My mind is in great conflict.

Maybe life is just a series of medium term relationships and none of us can be faithful forever. What a guilt trip religion put on us to tell us that sexual thoughts were just as bad as actually doing the deed..

For each and every long-term married couple I wonder how many times they cheated on each other during their lives and never said a word. Nothing is ever the way it seems.

Do we perhaps accept that we must find a life mate to raise children with and build a life together, but allow for a few flings on the side to appease that animal instinct we all try and repress.

Being single has so many advantages. You pay your own way and you are owned by nobody. You can travel wherever you want and whenever you want. You do not have to organise affordable family holidays in the car. You get to choose what you watch on the television plus you can eat whatever your heart desires.

Oh! And the sex!! the single life sex with multiple partners thing. Well that is one of the awesome things right? Let's be real. When you are single, how often to you actually get laid?

Do you find, as I do, that the longer I am single, the less confidence I have to meet women? (or... if you are a woman, to meet a man?) Sex for a single man does not come along as much as you think, even for really handsome guys.

Women won't just sleep with us because we are good looking. Being good looking just gets us an interview with a woman. it doesn't automatically get us the job. If we lack confidence, money and social skills we will get nowhere.

The relationshup audio books that brings us closer to the truth still must consider the advantages of the single life.

Now, remember, you can eat whatever you want as a single person, but eating at restaurants is impossible, looking like a loser because you are always eating alone. Wouldn't it be great to have scintillating conversations with a beautiful partner you really connect with? Suddenly, you realise that being single has some serious downsides.

For one thing, at some point all of your friends WILL get married and most of them will have children. You will be the odd one out. Being single is great when you are young and fit, but what about companionship when you get old and wrinkly? Who will look after you when you are in a nursing home if you never had kids?

So the obvious conclusion must be that being in a long term relationship is the better option.

But wait! Why is the divorce rate so high? Why do divorced couple wind up hating each other? If relationships are better, then surely everybody would be staying together.

Do you love romantic comedies? i do. I love seeing the couple meet, fall in love, have that classic fight where all seems lost, just to run to each others arms at the end, kissing passionately and living happily ever after..

Well, I would like to follow up with these movie couples 2 later, when they have moved in together and have really learned about each others bad habits. Can you imagine?

Whats these movies. I dare you to! It's the same with romance audio books online. there is always a strong male character and a woman who yearns to be seduced. But just imagine those stories two years on.

Imagine, the woman walks in to see pee marks on the toilet seat. The man walks into the bathroom and sees a flotaing, used tampon in the toilet that she forgot to flush.

She starts to ask him where he is heading in life. They are both stressed out with jobs they don't particularly like and are crushed by a home mortgage.

She has stopped cooking and it is easier for him to buy Subway for dinner. He doesn't bother working out at the gym and hasn't upgraded the fantastic wardrobe he had when he first met her.

The kids are screaming and stinking up the home with their dirty diapers and they disturb every chance these two have of being romantic.

Now it doesn't look so good, does it? But what about all that magic? Oh, you have a woman or man there with sex on tap, so that must be better than being single right? Maybe at the start.

Then you both choose where you want to holiday, meaning you see places she or he wants to go and may never go to the places you always dreamed of going. You share bank accounts, so they may spend the money you have been saving.

So what is better?

The truth of the matter is that neither is better. They both offer major advantages and major disadvantages.

A long term relationship may become old and stale. But then being single may become extremely lonely and depressing.

You must wrestle with your morality when in a relationship. You may end up wanting to cheat. Should you feel guilty about it? This depends on how your partner is treating you after these years.

A relationship is held together by respect, love and sex. They don't break over night. They breakdown over time, when sex is rejected, when someone demeans the other, when someone says cruel words, when someone refuses to apologize.

Being single successfully is held together by getting every moment squeezed out of life. You cannot sit at home constantly. You must connect with as many people, take risks and have adventures.

You must become wise and educate yourself and learning as must as you can, whether it be by book, audio books online, documentaries or language lessons. Take each moment as if it was your last.

The best saying I heard about the Single Vs Relationship debate is this "It is better being in a relationship with somebody who supports you and loves you. When that person becomes a slow acting poison that kills you, being single is the only option".


Street Talk

Wise words. Can you imagine eating alone as a woman in restaurants and doing everything alone? Coming to Australia alone for a position, that was life like! However, I had a choice to do and enjoy things or sit in the corner! It is all in the mind due to social conditioning! Living a productive and creative life is great! But.....:) This is a discussion that could go on forever! Great article!

Reply
  about 8 years ago
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