This Article is About
empty nest syndrome
nose dive
new territory
reconnecting
different reasons
commotion
quality time
common ground
intimacy
abundance
sparks
Empty Nest Empathy
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Empty Nest Empathy

When the Children Leave Home

Relationships can be challenging for both young and older couples, sometimes for different reasons and challenges. When it comes to older couples, some relationship challenges are brought on by the empty nest syndrome, which can throw both spouses off. This is new territory that has not been explored in the relationship. A whole new dimension that is on the horizon. For some it's exciting, for others, utmost terrifying.

The truth is, most couples start out at the peak of their relationship, where the sparks are flying and intimacy is in abundance. It is at this time that the excitement is rife, and they just cannot get enough of each other. As time goes by however, and they settle into the routine of their lives, things get a little too comfortable and the relationship may take bit of a nose dive. This is when the couple starts taking each other for granted.

For couples who decide to start a family, they get caught up in raising their children, focusing on their jobs and all other things that get the household going. Most of the time, the relationship takes a back seat. They get comfortable in the state of how things are. It is only years later when their children are all grown up and move out of home that the household becomes quiet. They are forced to now look at each other and try to make a go at reconnecting.

It is during this time that the couple needs to work at understanding each other, at the hope of working towards their relationship. In the past there was so much commotion in their household, and the focus was on their children. Now that they are all out of the house, the couple needs to reconnect and find common ground again.This can prove to be a great challenge, as they both have evolved with time. They may have changed, their needs and expectations may also have changed.

One of the best ways to do this is to reconnect. Spending quality time together will be a great start, as the couple will have a chance to open up to each other about what is going on and the issues that they may have regarding the relationship.

It is possible that both parents feel confused about the role they are supposed to play, and that may throw them off. It is feelings like these that they both need to process and share.

All of a sudden, there is all this time that they have for each other, that never used to be there. They can talk to their friends or couples who have gone through empty nest syndrome and find out some tips on how to deal better with it.

What could also help a great deal is speaking to a counselor who can help them go through this period. Instead of them trying to figure things out for themselves, they can get assistance that will allow them to have hope in their desperation, as well as understanding for what they are going through for themselves and each other.

Compassion will also have to be a part of it, as without it, the partners will have no empathy for what the other is going through. They may have similar issues to process. There may also be issues that are not as common, as the grief that is felt by the mother is more severe normally, as she is the one who is normally more hands on with the children.

It is possible that through the years they really did not have much of a personal relationship, except the one that they had because of the kids.

Getting back to the relationship is definitely going to be a challenge, there will be issues on intimacy, communication and roles that they need to jump through. Adjusting will take time, understanding and compassion from both. Focusing on each other and taking the time to reignite the passion that was in the beginning of the relationship is crucial. There is something to look forward to, grandchildren are right around the corner.


Street Talk

Yes, kids can certainly become the focus of a relationship. I think the key is to always communicate and make time for each other regardless of where circumstances are at. Date nights are fun... and not just for the young in love! Thanks for your article.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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