This Article is About
male psychology
threats and intimidation
holy grail
healthy relationships
impossible situation
mutual trust
exit strategy
breaking point
last resort
desperation
guilt
Ex Boyfriend Won't Get Back Together With Me - What Do I Do?
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Ex Boyfriend Won\'t Get Back Together With Me  -  What Do I Do?

You are here because your ex boyfriend won't get back together with you. Although this may seem like an impossible situation to be in, you can change things around and make him come running back to you by understanding male psychology and seeing your behaviour from his perspective.

The points below will illuminate why he may be avoiding you and not want to get back with you, so study them carefully and be honest with yourself. Are you guilty of doing any of these things? If so then you know that you have to assess your behaviour and change it accordingly.

- Using Guilt to Manipulate Him

This one may be a painful reality to hear, but constantly throwing the blame at your ex-boyfriend's sneakers (which he left in the middle of the living room floor AGAIN after you've told him not to repeatedly - oh…wait) may be a large part of the reason behind his decision to use his exit strategy on the relationship as a whole.

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect and if you used guilt to get your guy to do things that he genuinely didn't want to do over and over again, the pressure he faced could easily reach a breaking point. To correct a guilt-driven mistake, you need to acknowledge all the times your ex-boyfriend compromised and did something to make you happy - even if it's the last thing on earth he wanted to do.

Do you remember the time he gave up those tickets to the game to go to your corporate fundraiser? It may have not seemed like a big deal, but for him it was like giving the Holy Grail away to put on a suit and tie and be bored to tears. Show your appreciation graciously - and give him props for his ability to compromise. Let him know that you DID notice all the things he did, and that you won't guilt him into any more business meetings in the future.

- Resorting to Threats and Intimidation

Threats are often the last resort, and they're born solely out of desperation. Face it, no sane person in your position would honestly believe that threatening someone into wanting a relationship with you has even a CHANCE of working in the real world. Not only is your desperation lighting up like a billboard, it's making you appear petty, childish and immature as well.

If you're guilty of being a bossy pants throughout your relationship, that kind of behavior is just not going to fly anymore. He has no reason to listen to you and despite what you may believe - he is under no obligation to play by your rules. If this kind of behavior has been a constant reality throughout your relationship, he's fed up - and when you stop to think about it, it's not hard to understand why.

If you genuinely love this man, you're not really showing it. If you want to get your relationship back, it has to start with respect. Demeaning your ex-boyfriend to the point where you try to force him to do something he doesn't want to do display quite vividly that your respect for him is at a critical low. If you don't respect him enough to value his opinion, how much do you really love him, and why are you trying to get him back at all?

- Pushing Communication to Unnecessary Levels

How would you rank your contact with your ex-boyfriend on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being almost no contact at all and 10 being just as much (or more) than you did when the two of you were together? If you find that the answer is somewhere between 13 and 20, it's time to reevaluate your strategy to get him back. No guy wants to check their phone and find 15 unread texts from an ex-girlfriend. No matter how sweet, sappy and sentimental your texts and emails to each other were when you first got together, you're not together now. Acting like the breakup never happened is not going to score you any points. In fact, it's going to have the opposite effect. You don't want to annoy your ex into a relationship - you want to win him back. Go out and do something about it instead of hiding behind your favorite electronic device's screen, sending messages on a whim.

- Looking for Things that Aren't There

For the women of the world, every single moment of every single day is an opportunity to find a juicy tidbit to gossip about or complain about later with your friends - or your ex-boyfriend. Women have a tendency to get a thrill out of creating drama, while still complaining when they happened to be sucked into someone else's drama unwillingly. Like siblings, women bicker and pick fights all the time - and then get over it and move on.

These kinds of things are like a foreign language to most of the guys you're going to encounter, and your ex-boyfriend is no exception. He wants to keep as clear of the drama as humanly possible - even if that means breaking a relationship apart to do it. If drama has become a central topic of conversation on a regular basis, he's overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. It can be a lot to deal with, especially when it's not something that simply comes naturally. Give him a break, examine your tendency to uncover things that aren't there and use this time to imagine how that kind of behavior might have been perceived from your ex's point of view. Then you can start to get a clear picture of where things may have gone awry, and what you can do to correct them while moving forward.

Your Next Steps

Hopefully you now see the possible reasons why your ex boyfriend won't get back together with you. This is not the end of the matter though, there are effective get him back techniques that you can start implementing today to make him change his mind about you, all you have to do is learn them.

You should be learning all about the no contact rule and how it can make him see you in a positive light and miss you. Facebook strategies are also at your disposal and you can turn it into a powerful tool to make him get in touch with you and see you romantically again.


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