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In the beginning things were great. You and your ex were constantly spending time together and enjoying every minute. Things took a turn for the worst, and your ex cut ties and ran out on the relationship.
You've been wracking your brain trying to figure out where things went so wrong. Something took a drastic wrong turn somewhere along the way, and you can't begin to explain where, when or why. It's time to move past the past and take a step into the present. If you want the future to include your ex, it's time to take steps to make that dream a reality. It may not be easy to win them back, but it's worth your while if you're truly committed to making your relationship work.
Break Past the Breakup with a Breakaway
For whatever reason your ex decided to end things, the end of a relationship can be overwhelming for both parties. Just because they made the decision to break things off doesn't necessarily mean that they're free and clear of all the associated emotions. You've been living in your head since they called the relationship off. You're so focused on how you're feeling and what you can do to reverse the process that their emotional state may not have crossed your mind. Don't feel bad - it's just a normal part of the process.
Now that you're aware of a part of the reality that they're living in, it's easier to put the first phase of your plan into motion. You miss your ex terribly, but they're not there yet when it comes to you. Right now, your goal shouldn't be on the question of when you'll reconnect - you should be focusing on making your ex miss you, and understanding that to move forward, that simple realization needs to occur. The advantage of time is on your side - they're not going to forget you simply because you gave them some room to breathe. In fact, it's going to have the opposite effect. It will bring their missing you to life and increase it exponentially in the process. Missing you is not the only weapon in your arsenal. You have a shared past to focus on - and the reality of bringing that past to life.
Part One: Turning the Focus on the Old You
Don't just focus on the aspects of your past relationship that defined you and your ex as a couple. Think about aspects of yourself as well. How did you change throughout the course of your relationship? Did you become less attentive and more stressed? Did you inadvertently take that stress out on your ex?
If focusing on the positive seems to be an impossible goal, your position is understandable. Going through a breakup is heartbreaking by definition, and staying positive, funny and entertaining is probably not high on your list of priorities. Give yourself a break. Right now you need to start dealing with your emotions instead of avoiding them. Remember, the sooner you can overcome the negativity and start putting your attention on what you hope to accomplish, the sooner your ex can notice a change in you. They've been keeping an eye on you - even if you don't think they've noticed.
Part Two: Making the Best Parts of the Past a Present Reality
The beginning parts of a relationship are the best of times for both of you. Everything is new and shiny and all of your focus is on learning everything you can about your partner. Although you and your ex know a lot about each other now (which encompasses the good and the bad) revitalizing that newness is a fully attainable goal if you can move it from your dreams and into reality.
The key to winning them over is easily in how you portray yourself and how well you can interpret their reactions. It's a relationship tug-of-war at the moment and it's important that you know when to give a little ground to give yourself the overall advantage.
Relationships are pivotal moments in your life that can help you grow, learn and evolve over time. Considering how terrible they feel when they end, recognizing their significance means that they're way too valuable to leave up in the air. Sometimes you have to put your plan of action into action instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for a miracle. A plan can mean the difference between failure and success, and sticking to that plan is going to be your ultimate tool to reconciliation between you and your ex.
What To Do Next
Being dumped is one of the worst feelings in the world, the pain that comes with it is real. There are proven ways to win your ex back. One of the most important things that you should do at this stage is gain knowledge about the ins and outs of contact with your ex. Knowing how to approach contact with your ex is half the battle. When good contact is established again you will be in a position to put your relationship back on track.
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