This Article is About
simple steps
good graces
initial reactions
keep your distance
emotional reactions
heat of the moment
helpful tips
reconciliation
willingness
Get Your Ex Back In 4 Simple Steps
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Get Your Ex Back In 4 Simple Steps

It's the understatement of the century to say that relationships are a lot of hard work, and sometimes things simply don't go according to plan. Since there is more than one person involved, this inevitably means that conflict is going to arise. How that conflict is resolved ultimately contributes to the success or failure of a relationship as a whole. If you've been on the failing end of a relationship and you want nothing more than to rekindle that romance, there are a lot of helpful tips to help you along the road. The key to the whole situation is a mountain's worth of patience, the right tricks and tips in your playbook and the willingness to make your dream a reality.

Step One: Speed up Reconciliation by Getting a Grip:

Your initial reactions to the breakup can play a pivotal role in your overall chances of winning your ex back. It's easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment, and emotional reactions are completely understandable - if not expected. However, one thing that can tip the scales in your direction is a key element to the overall breakup process. This is nothing more than simply accepting the fact that your breakup did, in fact, happen - and that you can't fight your way back into your ex's good graces.

Living in denial is a common mistake made by those facing an eminent breakup. Everything in your gut is prompting you to fight for your relationship, to prove to your ex that you value the relationship, and you're willing to stand up for it. Ultimately, however, this is a mistake. It paints you in a very negative light, and that perception is much more difficult to overcome down the road. While the breakup may not have been what you wanted, it happened anyway. The sooner you can accept that reality, the sooner you will be able to move past it to take steps to get it back.

Step Two: Keep Your Distance:

Although your breakup may seem like the end of the line for you and your ex, they probably left a few loopholes behind. They're easy to miss if you don't know what to look for, and given your current emotional state it's not surprising that they've gone unnoticed. In the fallout of a typical breakup, an ex will usually linger for a few weeks to keep track of you and see how you are and how you're coping. It sounds horrible, but seeing you sad or frustrated makes your ex feel valuable. If someone loved them that much to be so broken up about their absence, they must be special. That feeling is acting as a security blanket while they venture out into the world on their own for the first time since the two of you got together.

Instead of simply playing into your ex's expectations that you're going to stick around indefinitely in an attempt to get a second chance, backing away can force them to see you in a different light. It makes them curious about your activities and they're unlikely to find straight answers. That curiosity will lead to a lot of conflicting emotions, but ultimately it will make them start to see you differently than they expected. Most importantly, your ex will start missing you - and that's something they probably didn't see coming.

Step Three: Making a Blast from the Past Work for You:

One of the most important pieces of the puzzle requires a trip down memory lane. Change is an inevitable part of life, and it's something that cannot be avoided. Change works different ways in different people, however, and some people undergoing individual changes unfortunately grow apart. If you're a vastly different person than you were when you and your ex first met, it may be a factor in what triggered your breakup in the first place.

Self-Improvement should always be one of your primary goals in every situation, but after a breakup it is a lot more pivotal. Not only do you have extra time on your hands, but you have a real opportunity to take an honest look at yourself and identify areas that could use some work. You never want to change into someone you're not just to make another person happy, but working on some rough edges is beneficial to you as a person - and to your chances of getting a second chance with your ex.

Step Four: Become the Hunted, not the Hunter:

Your ex never once imagined that they'd be on the losing end of this breakup. It was their idea, after all. So what turned the whole thing around and put you back in control of your own future? The answer is simple - you. There are a lot of stigmas and stereotypes associated with breakups and a desperate, needy ex is one of the most pervasive. They probably planned for a lot of possible scenarios from you - and none of their expectations came to fruition.

Instead of begging, pleading or making promises to change, you took matters into your own hands and focused on yourself to improve areas that could use an overhaul. Instead of relentlessly texting or calling them, you've kept your distance. This abrupt change of pace was the furthest thing from their mind and instead of being grateful, they're uneasy. When the questions start rolling in there will be no easy answers - and they can't exactly get ahold of you to reassure themselves that things are still on track.

Taking the control back in your own breakup which you never wanted is not an easy process. It's full of landmines and wrong-turns. Without a mental roadmap it's easy to get lost in the flow. Make yourself as prepared as possible and build up your own confidence. It's going to be the extra weapon in your arsenal that's ultimately going to put you on the winning team.

What To Do Next

It is important that when you are dumped that you don't go into a state of despair. There are productive things that you can do to right now to reverse your situation and make your ex see you in a positive light again. First you need to avoid these break up mistakes like the plague. If you are doing any of these things then it will severely damage your chances of winning your ex back.

It is also a good idea to gauge how your ex feels about you too. Reading between the lines will be necessary because your ex will not be very forthright with you after the break up. Luckily there are common signs ex still loves you, so get to grips with them.


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great article

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  about 4 years ago
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