This Article is About
break ups
voice mails
grieving process
lack of interest
reconciliation
ups
sorts
tendency
insight
perspective
relationship
stock
Getting An Ex Back - Why Your Previous Efforts Have Failed
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Getting An Ex Back  -  Why Your Previous Efforts Have Failed

Getting an ex back can be hard work. Up until now you have been putting lots of effort in with your ex to get them back. You have been leaving them voice mails, trying to keep on friendly terms and taking an interest in their life. Contact with your ex is strained at the moment but you have to ensure that it is maintained or you do not stand a chance of getting them back, right?

Wrong. If everything you are currently doing is having no impact on your ex then it is time to take stock and ask yourself why. When you understand exactly what it is that is putting your ex off you can rectify this and change the way they view you. Doing this is not easy - it requires you to take an honest look at your behaviour and admit that your actions have been inappropriate and unattractive. It is a necessary part of the reconciliation process however and it will make you see the whole break up through new eyes.

Have You Been Concentrating On What You Want?

No one could blame you for doing this. Break ups are emotionally fraught and confusing periods in one's life. When you have been dumped there is a tendency to concentrate on how it has affected you and the wrong that has been done to you personally. Instead of looking inwardly for a second stop and try to see things from your ex's perspective. How are they feeling after the break up? Did you do or say anything that could have hurt them? These sorts of questions will give you an honest insight into what you have been doing wrong and the solution to your ex's lack of interest will suddenly become clear to you.

What Your Ex Is Feeling Right Now

After a break up things with you are awkward - dead awkward. Being around you makes your ex unsure of themselves and very vulnerable. They do not want to open themselves up to further hurt by you saying something to them. They are going through a grieving process and they need time to come to terms with the loss of your relationship. To do this they have to be on their own. When you call or text them you will only be putting a lot of pressure on them when all they really want is space right now.

You can't expect you and your ex to pick up an instant friendship or get back to normal in the immediate aftermath of your break up, it just isn't normal human behaviour. Their need for space is a huge part of the reason that they haven't been receptive to your communication attempts. You cannot force the issue here, your ex will open up again and talk to you when they have dealt with the break up and feel strong enough. It is important for you to give them this time or you could end up pushing them away for good.

Have You Begged And Pleaded For Another Chance?

You don't have to get down on your knees with puppy dog eyes or forcibly latch onto your ex's ankles for your actions to be considered as begging. Any protest that you have vocalized to make your ex reconsider the break up can constitute begging. If your ex has already made their decision (bear in mind that they will have been considering breaking up with you for weeks before they do it) then no amount of reasoning will make them change their mind.

The same goes for what you say to them after the break up has occurred. Did you say that you would try to change or make it obvious that you are still hung up on your ex? Does any of your behaviour suggest that you have not really accepted the break up and cannot let go? This screams of desperation even if you cannot see it.

How Your Ex Views Your Behaviour

Your ex will be watching out for how you cope with the break up in the ensuing days and weeks. It is only natural for them to wonder if you have moved on or if you are depressed about losing them. The ego is a powerful thing and a small part of your ex will be hoping to see that you are not over them entirely.

If you have been guilty of any of the things above then your ex will see you as kind of pathetic to be honest. You might think that you are only fighting for your relationship and that your ex will see sense or appreciate your efforts, but your ex doesn't see it this way. These kinds of desperate actions are unattractive in any situation, not just break ups. Instead of wanting to get back together your ex will want to avoid you as much as possible. They will not know how to deal with your pleas and find it much easier to ignore you or keep their distance. Whilst they may feel sorry for you and still care about you as a person, any romantic feelings for you will have long disappeared when you display these traits.

You want your ex to see you romantically again - this is the key. This involves changing how your ex currently sees you. You can turn things around at this point if you have patience and start to implement certain strategies. Over time they will forget about all of the negative things that you have done up until now and gradually see you as attractive again.

To get to this point you have to remember what first attracted your ex to you in the initial stages of your romance. You are still this person and it is just a matter of finding those aspects that made your ex love you. To be successful here you need to look at what behaviours are attractive and unattractive and avoid common break up mistakes that will end up driving your ex away for good.

Your Next Steps

Getting an ex back is very possible if you start to understand where they are coming from and the psychology behind attraction. There are some powerful Facebook attraction strategies that you can start implementing now to ensure that your ex sees you as a potential mate again.

Other than that you need to know where you really stand with your ex in terms of their feelings. They could be doing a good job of hiding how they really feel because they do not want to be hurt again, that is why deciphering signs ex likes you is so important. Only then will you know if your efforts are worthwhile.


Street Talk

mark36  

My name is Mark, from USA. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit, I meant a man who’s name is DR Moko he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the woman i had wanted to marry left me 3weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 years. I really loved her, but her mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 4 days when i returned to Canada, my Girlfriend called me by herself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and she got a new job interview, so we get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my girlfriend name. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my wife also got the new job and our lives became much better, You can contact him on this email: Mokospellcaster@gmail. com

Reply
  about 6 years ago
mark36  

My name is Mark, from USA. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit, I meant a man who’s name is DR Moko he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the woman i had wanted to marry left me 3weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 years. I really loved her, but her mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 4 days when i returned to Canada, my Girlfriend called me by herself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and she got a new job interview, so we get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my girlfriend name. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my wife also got the new job and our lives became much better, You can contact him on this email: Mokospellcaster@gmail. com

Reply
  about 6 years ago
stacey  

THANKS TO DR LOVE FOR BROUGHT MY EX BOY FRIEND BACK Friends i can swear by anything DR LOVE is a man you can contact for help and he is trustworthy.Here his is private mail drlovespellcaster@yahoo. com Tel +2348038096203

Reply
  about 6 years ago
You May Also Like
Make Him Miss Me - Learn Secrets About The Male Mind
Find out exactly how to make him miss you and want you back again here. We will teach you the exact strategies that you need to follow in order to be successful, so let's get started. Your Chances Of Getting Him Back Depend On What You Do We all know…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 20, 2012  
48
  Likes: 67

How To Stop Struggling After A Breakup Using The No Contact Rule
Break ups are the most painful moments in a couple's life. If not handled properly, it can destroy one's self esteem, courage and will to move on with life. As hard as it might seem, the best thing to do after a break up is to apply the no contact…
By: Max Grimnar in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Apr 02, 2012  
2
  Likes: 10

How to Tell If Your Ex Wants You Back
If you realise that your ex maybe be starting to become interested in you again, and it seems like they are starting to flirt with you or, or they seem like they would like to go out and spend some time with you, it is quite alright to become encouraged…
By: Ryan Kuchel in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 15, 2011  
2
  Likes: 8

Will My Ex Come Back If I Change?
If you have been through a tough break up and want to know how to get back with your ex, you are not alone. You may wonder what you can do to get your ex back. You may even wonder if you can get your ex back by changing yourself.…
By: J.M. Shoar in  Relationships  >  Dating   Jan 10, 2012  
0
  Likes: 5

I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back
So you are consistently telling yourself, “I want to get my ex boyfriend back” Well, it is a fact that all break ups are different types, but Pain after break up is inevitable, and suffering is not optional in most cases. You can easily fall into a desperation mode and…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Mar 17, 2012  
26
  Likes: 3

Does My Ex Still Think About Me? - Find Out Here
It is normal to ask yourself " does my ex still think about me?" after a break up. You are curious about your ex's state of mind and wondering if they have moved on completely. This is even more true if you are hopeful to get back together later on…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 12, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Is It A Good Idea To Be Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend? - Not If You Want Her Back
Have you found yourself in a situation where your ex girlfriend wants to be friends and now you are wondering if it is a good idea or not? Well, if you have no desire to be with them then it would be okay. However, if you are still wanting a…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Friendship   Jul 19, 2012  
8
  Likes: 3

Is It Possible To Get Her Back Again? The Truth Is Surprising
Yes it is possible to get her back if you understand all about the female psyche and what makes them tick after a break up. Learn exactly what she is thinking about you after the break up and make her desire you again. Lately you have been asking yourself if…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 26, 2012  
1
  Likes: 6

Signs That My Ex Boyfriend Wants Me Back - How To Spot Them
You will probably be wondering what are the signs that your ex boyfriend wants you back, well you are in luck! This article is going to show you exactly how to spot the clues that he still cares about you and how to use this knowledge to your advantage. It…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 27, 2012  
18
  Likes: 15

How to Get Him Back After He Dumps You - Here is What You Must Follow Before Time Runs Out on You
If your boyfriend dumped you & moved on with another woman, it does not mean that he has no feelings for you deep inside in his heart. May be his day to day life with you was seemed dull to him or there was lack of care for him. Sometimes…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 2

The Ex Recovery System – It’s Not Always About Getting An Ex Back
Break ups are painful, not easy to deal with and we usually react by finding effective ways on how to get an ex back. I was just like that before I came across The Ex Recovery System but the system gave me a different view on my whole break up…
By: Gretchell in  Relationships   Sep 04, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Fix a Breakup – 6 Tips on How to Fix a Breakup
The Sadness of the Break Up Break ups can be one of the saddest times of someone's life. Though nowadays break ups seem more and more common, it's still difficult to accept. After all you’re still thinking about your ex and this hurts badly. You start wondering what happened and…
By: JW Penn in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 13, 2011  
2
  Likes: 11

My Ex Boyfriend Is Not Talking To Me - How Do I Get Him Back Now?
So, your ex boyfriend is not talking to you and you don't know why. You have probably left his loads of voice mails and texts to no avail - he just won't budge. In the forefront of your mind you have all of these questions and self doubts about why…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Communication   Aug 30, 2012  
6
  Likes: 5

Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends - What Do I Do Now?
"We can always be friends," he might tell you, with a half-guilty smile. A lot of guys say this line to their ex girlfriends, and in most cases, it's an attempt to make a bad situation better. It's also an attempt to salvage what's left of a relationship and to…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Friendship   Jul 30, 2012  
23
  Likes: 3

How To Get Your Ex Back - You Need To Do This Or It Won't Work
When you first get dumped your first instinct is likely panic. After that you probably try desperately to get your ex back. Break ups are never easy and there is a myriad of conflicting emotions at play. What should I do for the best? Why is my ex not responding?…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 15, 2013  
2
  Likes: 2

Article Views: 2385    Report this Article