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how to deal with breakups
to deal with breakups
emotional damage
grieving process
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healing process
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Grief And The No Contact Rule
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Breakups can seem like the end of the world. In many cases, they're more difficult to get through than anything else, and can even surpass the grief associated with the loss of a friend or family member. Like the grieving process associated with a death, breakups cause you to feel and mourn the loss of a relationship that we are often fully invested in.

Regardless of the reason behind the breakup or if you could see it coming, it's still a difficult and challenging topic that sooner or later faces almost everyone at least once.

Relationships of all kinds are hard work but no matter how much effort you put into it, the fact of the matter is that sometimes they simply don't work out. Knowing how to deal with breakups constructively is essential to moving on in a balanced and healthy way, and I hope to shed some light on proactive and healthy ways to experience grief as well as taking important steps to moving on.

While it may seem that the best course of action after a breakup is to jump right back on the dating bandwagon and try again or pick up a casual fling at a bar masking your emotions or trying to replace your ex immediately with someone new isn't the healthiest way to go. Breakups cause emotional damage that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with constructively in order for the healing process to fully take effect. It is imperative for those going through a breakup to fully acknowledge their grief and allow themselves to fully feel all the emotions that go with it.

By working through feelings of sadness, of loss, of anger and so on, baggage associated with the prior relationship can be dealt with and dismissed and not stored in order to come back up later. Ignoring feelings or masking them by pretending everything is okay only makes them worse later, and they will come back up. It is far better to deal with those feelings as they appear.

Emotions take a toll on us, and a breakup is typically a volatile and tense situation for everyone involved. You should focus on yourself and not the other person, and do what is in your best interest, regardless of what they may want you to do.

By turning the focus inward, it's possible that underlying issues can be resolved and important lessons learned about yourself and the way you deal with others. By making a thorough self-examination post-breakup, it's possible that any issues that could have hindered a relationship in the future such as trust or honesty can be resolved and lead to healthier and equal relationships later on.

Texting or calling your ex repeatedly to get answers or to try to force them to take you back is often tempting, but it is definitely not the healthiest way to go about the process of letting go. Chances are the relationship ended for a reason, whether you fully understand it or not.

After a breakup it is absolutely necessary for personal well-being to establish a no contact period between you and your ex. While many people stick with the "I want to be friends" sentences during breakups, it is neither healthy nor profitable to try to attempt closeness with an ex immediately after breaking up. It may be possible that you and your ex can be friends in the future, but with so many hurt feelings and betrayals out in the open, trying to establish a friendship right away isn't in the best interest of anyone.

Whether for a couple of weeks, a month or two or even longer, establishing a period of no contact between the two of you allows for both parties to take stock and work through their own emotions without taking it out on each other, or making an already bad situation worse.

It's difficult to focus on your own growth or to allow the grieving process to fully take hold when you're still communicating with your ex. Giving both of you a break and allowing healing to take hold can contribute to a long and lasting friendship that exceeds the bounds of a broken relationship.

Breakups are never easy, and often take a toll on us that we could have never predicted. Often blindsided by an avalanche of emotions and turmoil, following these two steps is essential to moving past the hurt of a breakup and becoming a stronger and more balanced individual.

Street Talk

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