This Article is About
grief
how to deal with breakups
to deal with breakups
emotional damage
grieving process
fact of the matter
healing process
bandwagon
family member
emotions
Grief And The No Contact Rule
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Breakups can seem like the end of the world. In many cases, they're more difficult to get through than anything else, and can even surpass the grief associated with the loss of a friend or family member. Like the grieving process associated with a death, breakups cause you to feel and mourn the loss of a relationship that we are often fully invested in.

Regardless of the reason behind the breakup or if you could see it coming, it's still a difficult and challenging topic that sooner or later faces almost everyone at least once.

Relationships of all kinds are hard work but no matter how much effort you put into it, the fact of the matter is that sometimes they simply don't work out. Knowing how to deal with breakups constructively is essential to moving on in a balanced and healthy way, and I hope to shed some light on proactive and healthy ways to experience grief as well as taking important steps to moving on.

While it may seem that the best course of action after a breakup is to jump right back on the dating bandwagon and try again or pick up a casual fling at a bar masking your emotions or trying to replace your ex immediately with someone new isn't the healthiest way to go. Breakups cause emotional damage that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with constructively in order for the healing process to fully take effect. It is imperative for those going through a breakup to fully acknowledge their grief and allow themselves to fully feel all the emotions that go with it.

By working through feelings of sadness, of loss, of anger and so on, baggage associated with the prior relationship can be dealt with and dismissed and not stored in order to come back up later. Ignoring feelings or masking them by pretending everything is okay only makes them worse later, and they will come back up. It is far better to deal with those feelings as they appear.

Emotions take a toll on us, and a breakup is typically a volatile and tense situation for everyone involved. You should focus on yourself and not the other person, and do what is in your best interest, regardless of what they may want you to do.

By turning the focus inward, it's possible that underlying issues can be resolved and important lessons learned about yourself and the way you deal with others. By making a thorough self-examination post-breakup, it's possible that any issues that could have hindered a relationship in the future such as trust or honesty can be resolved and lead to healthier and equal relationships later on.

Texting or calling your ex repeatedly to get answers or to try to force them to take you back is often tempting, but it is definitely not the healthiest way to go about the process of letting go. Chances are the relationship ended for a reason, whether you fully understand it or not.

After a breakup it is absolutely necessary for personal well-being to establish a no contact period between you and your ex. While many people stick with the "I want to be friends" sentences during breakups, it is neither healthy nor profitable to try to attempt closeness with an ex immediately after breaking up. It may be possible that you and your ex can be friends in the future, but with so many hurt feelings and betrayals out in the open, trying to establish a friendship right away isn't in the best interest of anyone.

Whether for a couple of weeks, a month or two or even longer, establishing a period of no contact between the two of you allows for both parties to take stock and work through their own emotions without taking it out on each other, or making an already bad situation worse.

It's difficult to focus on your own growth or to allow the grieving process to fully take hold when you're still communicating with your ex. Giving both of you a break and allowing healing to take hold can contribute to a long and lasting friendship that exceeds the bounds of a broken relationship.

Breakups are never easy, and often take a toll on us that we could have never predicted. Often blindsided by an avalanche of emotions and turmoil, following these two steps is essential to moving past the hurt of a breakup and becoming a stronger and more balanced individual.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Share And Be Shared With: Moving Beyond The Living Grave Of Grief
Grief is among the worst of the human states. It can range from mild sadness at something or someone’s passing, to a spirit splattering agony that requires years to recover from; if recovery is even possible. There is truth in the theory that grief can kill or at least bring…
By: David Fairley in  News and Society  >  Anthropology Sociology   Jan 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 1

To Squeeg With Love: Why Grief is Such A Weird Process to Undertake
I must apologize. I never do this, ever. By "this", I mean write in the first person. I published a novel under an assumed name and most of my articles are clinical, detached. I tend to shy away from emotions and feelings and for my own reasons. However, for the…
By: amie nogrady in  Self Improvement  >  Grief Loss   Aug 16, 2012  
5
  Likes: 5

The Role Of Anger During Grief
Numerous life changing events can cause grief and appear to be insurmountable. This phenomenon is one of the fundamental commonalities shared between all cultures and generations. All people experience the loss of someone or something that they love at some point in their lives. This loss could also be from…
By: Dianne Laurine in  Self Improvement  >  Grief Loss   Sep 01, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Win Your Man Back
When there is a breakup after a long term relationship, no matter whose fault it was, both the partners feel like patching up again but could not as they are afraid of doing so. Girls may express their sorrow as it is the women’s nature. However, men usually do not…
By: theblogger2012 in  Relationships  >  Love   Jul 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 0

Is It A Good Idea To Be Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend? - Not If You Want Her Back
Have you found yourself in a situation where your ex girlfriend wants to be friends and now you are wondering if it is a good idea or not? Well, if you have no desire to be with them then it would be okay. However, if you are still wanting a…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Friendship   Jul 19, 2012  
8
  Likes: 3

How to Deal With Breakups
Each person, young and old alike, had probably dealt with an overly emotional heartache that is a breakup. More often than not, people who have been suffering from a breakup are told that they will eventually get to move on. However for someone who is already emotially broken and deeply…
By: John Jarvis in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Dec 28, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

That weekend was Amazing!
I just spent the most amazing weekend with my wife! I know this might sound strange but ever since my two-year old daughter was born it has basically been a relationship between wife and daughter and me playing the bystander. Don't get me wrong I love my wife and daughter…
By: alstallio in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 08, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back – Consider Couples Counseling
You just got out of a serious relationship. She ended it and you want to win her back. You are probably scratching your head trying to figure out how to get your girlfriend back. You have tried the simple things – chocolate and flowers did not work. She wants more…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 18, 2012  
3
  Likes: 0

Can I Get My Ex - Girlfriend Back?
If you are asking that question, then you obviously have some doubts, and rightfully so. Well you are going to have to ask and answer some tough questions. First of all...have you figured out what caused the breakup to begin with? Was it you...was it her...probably a combination of both...right?…
By: Stbrac1 in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Dec 26, 2011  
15
  Likes: 2

Your Girlfriend Left You - Seven Winning Ideas on How to Get Her Back
Your girlfriend just left you and you are at a loss for what to do next and how to get her back. You want her back, but just are not sure what steps to take to get there. It can be very rough sometimes when a relationship ends before you…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 18, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Five Lessons From Guys Like You – Learn How to Get Your Girlfriend Back
Sometimes the best advice comes from guys who have “been there, done that”. They are the best teachers on how to get your girlfriend back. Here is a collection of the best advice from guys who have learned the hard way what to do and not do. Take this advice…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 16, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Get My Ex Back – The Power Of Opening Up Your Life To Possibility
If how can I get my ex back is the one thing on your mind after a breakup, the only thing you might want to do is hide out on the couch or in front of the computer. But, after an initial day or two of moping or tears, it…
By: JackieJ in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 29, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Help! I Still Love My Ex
What do you do if you find yourself thinking: "I still love my ex.”? How do you know if it is real love, or just a residual fondness, and seeing your past relationship through "rose colored glasses"? In reality, it is perfectly normal to have residual feelings for your ex.…
By: Mitch Anderson in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jul 12, 2011  
0
  Likes: 3

How to Make Your Ex Girlfriend Think You're Back Together
If you're desperately trying to get your ex girlfriend back into your arms from another guy, it can be tough to figure out what the right steps are to take. Sometimes your ex might be really angry at you, especially if the relationship went sour towards the end. The good…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Mar 21, 2011  
1
  Likes: 7

Tips For Getting Through A Love Break Up With Little Pain
Yes, you will need to truly answer this question; Are you in love? It is almost always certain that break ups are painful where you are in love with your boyfriend. If you do not truly love him, then you may not feel anything. But if you love him then,…
By: Theo Johnson in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jan 16, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 2477    Report this Article