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How Can I Get Him Back Without Losing All Self Respect For Myself?
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How Can I Get Him Back Without Losing All Self Respect For Myself?

Question:

For years and years I’ve been in and out of bad relationships until I met what I thought was the man of my dreams. We started dating but I messed things up by constantly comparing him to other men which I admit wans’t a good thing.

I broke up with him about 8 months ago becaue I felt I needed to sort some things out in my personal life. When I was ready to get him back I talked to him about getting back together but he said he wasn’t ready yet because he wasn’t sure if I really loved him.

We’ve talked on the phone quite a bit since the breakup but we haven’t seen eachother since the breakup. Well as it happens, we bumped into eachother at a party 1 month ago and we ended up kissing. I told him how I really felt about him and that I still loved him and he said the same back to me but he’s currently seeing someone else and he thinks it might go somewhere.

What can I say or do to get him back without losing self respect for myself?

Answer:

Getting him back after you’ve broken up with him is all about two things – making him miss you and making him think he’s going to lose you forever. Unless he feels these two things he’s got no reason to look your way and want to get back with you again – and this holds true even if he’s currently involved with someone else.

In this article, I’m going to explain why he doesn’t miss yet and how you can get him to miss you and start thinking about you again so you can get back together.

Why He Doesn’t Miss You

The reason he doesn’t miss you is because you’ve constantly talked on the phone despite not having seen each other since the breakup. This is one of the biggest mistakes that most people make because they think that if the break off all communication with their ex that they will turn around and start dating someone right away.

The reality is that this couldn’t be farther from the truth; allow me to explain. If we reverse the situation and pretend that you were the one who was dumped, do you think that you would turn around and start going out with other people? Of course not! You would most likely be nursing a broken heart and wishing you could get back together.

As you can see, constantly keeping in contact with your ex does the opposite of what you think it should do. It doesn’t give your ex boyfriend the time and space he needs to let his feelings naturally develop and miss you.

Why He Still Has Feelings For You

It’s natural to still have feelings for someone that you’ve dated because you’ve both invested emotional energy and time into the relationship and given the fact that you kissed when you both saw each other tells me that there are still some unresolved feelings between you two.

Your ex boyfriend is giong to be confused because he’s currently seeing someone else and he’s not sure where it’s going to go and that’s OK. If you really want to get in his head then you need to cut off all contact with him otherwise nothing else will change.

Let me take you into your boyfriend’s head for just a minute:

“Without exception, every time I breakup with a girl I expect that she’s going to beg me to take her back. And do you know what I hate most of all? I hate it when an ex girlfriend doesn’t leave me alone. The last thing I need is to be bugged and harassed after a breakup.

But let me tell you something. When she stops all contact and drops off the face of the earth then I start to think about her, who she’s with and what she’s doing.”

Do you see how powerful pulling away and stopping all contact is?

Your Next Move

Things between you and your ex boyfriend aren’t over and you know that because he kissed you when you met up in person at the party.

As you read in the first paragraph the key to get him back after you’ve broken up while he’s seeing someone else is all about two things – making him miss you and making him think he’s going to lose you forever.


Street Talk

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