You can't spend your present living in the past. As pleasant as it may be to relive the best moments of your relationship, the reality is that it's over. Maybe you grew apart or developed different interests. Maybe you simply failed to communicate your needs and built up resentments.

Regardless of the reason, your relationship came to an end and all you can think about is having your ex back in your arms. It's time to move out of your head and into reality - and that means developing a concrete plan to win your ex back. Coming up with a plan of attack is only the first piece of a much larger puzzle. Putting it into action is just as important as creating it to begin with. You need to start considering more than just what you want to happen - you need to think about how your ex is feeling, what you need to do to accomplish your goals and what can overcome the bumps that broke your relationship apart in the first place.

The Truth about Absence

You've heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but no amount of grandma's old sayings can make you willing to put the theory into practice. It goes against every instinct you have. Leaving an ex to their own devices means that they can simply put you in the past, leave you there and get started moving on, right? That's not exactly true.

Your grandma may have been onto something, and those old sayings can come in handy if you're willing to give them a chance. If you're constantly putting yourself in your ex's line of sight, you're not giving them the chance to realize how good their life was when you were in it. Truthfully, missing you is the first step to wanting you again, and until those two things happen, your chance of winning over their heart is rather slim.

Highlight the Things that Make You Stand Out

Face it - it's probably not one thing that brought your ex to your attention when you first met. Likewise, your ex probably saw more than one attractive quality in you that made them curious about you overall and captured their attention.

Your ex is already missing you, but they're probably remembering the way things were - not the things that led up to the end of your relationship. If you want to recapture your ex's undivided attention, bringing these traits back to life is easily the fastest and most reliable way to accomplish the task.

Unfortunately, the person you used to be seems a million miles away. You're crushed and broken and it's all you can do to get the pieces of your heart together in a single pile - let alone put them together. Your ex is wary of the person that they broke up with - someone that may be a bit unstable, or downright desperate to win them back.

Bring a New and Improved Past to Life

The good news is that breakups can be temporary, and they are reversible. It happens all the time, and there's no reason to believe that it can't happen to you - no matter when the breakup actually took place. If you took some time after things fell apart, it's okay - it doesn't meant that you've lost your one shot to get them back for good.

The path to reconciliation isn't an easy one, and it's not going to make it better to pretend that it's all fun and games. You need to be very specific in your approach, and you need to move carefully. There are potential land-mines at every turn. If you feel like you're suddenly a circus acrobat, you're not far off the mark. You know there are things you should never say, but there are equally things that you should express when the time is right. There are times that silence is truly golden - and times when approaching your ex to create a reconnection is in your best interest. It's a fine line between connection and a necessary disconnect. It's learning the interpretation of these signals that's going to give you the best possible position when it's finally time to move forward.

The situation is risky, but possible but only if you play your cards correctly. Don't just play it by ear and do whatever seems right in the moment. Having a plan doesn't do any good if it goes flying out the window whenever your gut-instinct kicks in. Make sure you stick to your guns and remain steady. Only then can you truly line up the prize and get it easily within reach.

What To Do Next

Being dumped is a heartrending experience, even the strongest people will be knocked of kilter by it. The sadness that you feel right now is completely understandable, but if you are serious about getting your ex back you will have to pull through it as best you can and get proactive.

There are many things you can do to achieve the goal of winning your ex back. One of the most important things you can do is learn how to approach contact with your ex correctly.