Breaking up is awful. But when the breakup is because your partner has left you for someone else, it can be downright devastating. This is perhaps the worst kind of breakup because not only do you feel as though you’ve been left, but you also feel as though you’ve been replaced. Adding to that hurt is the fact that when the one you love has found someone else, you feel like there’s very little chance that you can get back together with them. So the question becomes, how do you deal with it?

Forget about ‘the cheating factor’

Even if your ex insists during the breakup that they never once cheated on the person they’re now with, that question is most likely going to linger in your mind. After all, if they’re leaving you for them, what are the chances that nothing happened between them while you were still together? As difficult as it might be, this is something you have to put out of your mind. The worst case scenario is that they did, but you have to realize that it doesn’t really matter now. They’re not part of your life anymore, and they’ve actually done you a favor by removing themselves from your life. Now your job is to focus on you and your happiness, and realize you can’t control their actions – now, or in the past.

Don’t cyber-stalk them

After any breakup it can be tempting to go online and check out their Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to see what they’re doing. You might even want to check out the new person they’re with, where they’re going, and what they’re doing. You probably also know that this behavior isn’t healthy, and it won’t help you heal. Constantly comparing yourself to the new person in their life, or checking to see if they’re going to all your old spots will just make you feel angry and bad about yourself. Listen to your gut when it tells you to leave their social network pages. This is nothing but self-punishing behavior, and you deserve better.

Realize it’s not about you

After being left for someone else, it’s natural to wonder what you did wrong, how you could’ve been better, or what the new love has that you don’t. When someone leaves their current partner for someone else, there's something that's making them feel better than they did in the relationship. It's about how they felt in the old relationship and it's possible perhaps something was missing. Women tend to leave because they're not feeling appreciated. Men tend to leave because they're not made to feel like a man. It's worth reflecting and thinking if this was possibly the reason for your breakup.

Cry, listen to music, go out with your friends

Even though this is the worst kind of breakup, getting over it is really no different than any other kind – so do what you have to do! Whether you need to cry it out, grab your friends and go out, listen to music, or write some poetry, start doing it! All of this is very therapeutic and once you start that journey of healing, the sooner you will actually heal and be able to move on with your life. The better you start to feel, it's possible you can repair your relationship and even get back together, with a little work on your part.