Someone has done a tap dance on your heart. You went through a breakup that seemed to rip your insides apart. What's more, your ex-boyfriend already found himself a new girlfriend. Everything seems to be falling apart at the seams and no matter how hard you try, you just can't keep up. For every hole you mend, ten more pop up in its place. Before you lose your cool completely, step back and try to take a few deep breaths - or ten. You can reverse this process and regain his attention. It just requires a bit more effort on your part - and a few more skills that you didn't even know you had.

You're going to have to take a good hard look at all your options - even the ones that you'd typically avoid or refuse to consider. You have to recognize that this situation is already going to be an uphill battle and you have to acknowledge that you need to use any means necessary to pursue your end goal. Getting back together with an ex-boyfriend can already be difficult - the fact that he's already involved ups the ante. You need to rise to the occasion and accept the odds, recognizing the fact that they have every reason to end up in your favor.

If this was a poker game, you know that you're eventually going to end up playing your hand and putting all your chips on the table. That doesn't mean that you have to go all in from the start from the moment you sit down at the table. Before anything can progress, you need to create a starting point and that means finding a means to get back in touch. The last thing you want to do is send a flashing red light in his new girlfriend's face and that means considering other alternatives and not just showing up at the door or texting him out of the blue.

As much as it hurts you need to give them the benefit of enjoying the honeymoon part of their relationship. It will feel like you're being ripped apart but allowing it to happen is what's going to make sure that you come out on top later. Nothing stays bright, new and exciting forever - especially not a relationship based on a rebound. Once it starts to fade, your ex will be much more likely to listen to you and then you can spring your trap. Reestablishing contact will be tricky and you'll have to get around his defenses. You can do that easily by convincing him that you're not looking for anything and that you're moving on from your shared past. You need him to feel comfortable talking to you and as long as he's worried you may make a move that comfort level isn't possible.

Truthfully, he shouldn't feel comfortable given what you have in mind - but he's never been a mind reader and you were always really good at getting him to believe otherwise.

Drama is no guy's best friend - in fact they avoid it at all costs. If his new girlfriend finds out that you messaged her man, she's going to hit the fan in a big way and your chances of getting through to him have taken a hike. To avoid the dangers associated with her you need to be a little sneakier than normal - instead of going about contacting him in a more visible way send him an email instead. If he has email at work that may be a decent option - and one that she'll never have access to. Ask him a simple question about one of his hobbies (because you're just dying to know) or offer to return something that he left behind. Encourage a response by leaving the message open ended. When he does reply you can ask him how he's doing or sharing a story from your recent past.

You've won the first part of the battle, but the war is far from over. No one wants to continue a conversation with someone they feel is jealous or spiteful - especially if it's a recent ex. Stay neutral if he brings up his new girlfriend or talks about their relationship. Don't judge her or the two of them together. Stay upbeat and he'll be impressed by your reaction - or lack of one.

You and your ex used to have so much fun together. Your conversations were full of laughter and enjoyment - and you can get that sense back. When he decides to call you, don't put a lot of pressure on yourself - and don't set the bar of your expectations too high. The conversation may be brief or it may not be. While it lasts, make it as fun as possible and let him know that it's good to hear from him. He's not going to expect to have such a good time with you again and he's going to be impressed - that means that you're becoming a part of his thoughts again and you're one step closer to your end goal.

As your relationship continues through continual contact, your ex-boyfriend is going to consider you as someone he can turn to when he needs help or advice. He may even start discussing issues he's having with his new girlfriend. Any information he gives you can be used to your advantage but not while he's telling you about it. Save it for later and don't succumb to the desire to contribute your own thoughts about his girl or his relationship - you will never get him back this way.

You've been talking for weeks or longer. Emails have progressed into texts and those have turned into phone calls. If you're lucky the next step will be entirely up to him. You get a message that he wants to see you, and you're a bundle of nerves. Take a deep breath, relax and play it cool - at least on the outside. Your conversation may be tense at first but you both open up quickly and fall back into your old habits. Steer the conversation away from potentially awkward subjects and stay friendly. By being yourself, your ex is going to want to see you again and each successive meeting is going to bring your goal closer into reach.

This moment has been looming on the horizon for quite some time. You're on the verge of bridging the gap between a platonic (yet flirtatious) relationship to a deeper one that turns into a romantic entanglement. The situation may be complex but it's approaching with each passing moment. When the two of you touch - however innocent it may initially be - you're going to feel some serious chemistry.

A little bit more patience on your part is necessary to keep the ball rolling and not let it get stuck in the process. Hopping into the sack with your ex-boyfriend may be the only thing you can think about but it's not in your best interest - not yet. Wait out his current relationship and let him end things in his own time - not yours. He wants to come to his own conclusions and by letting him make his own decision and his own moves when he's ready your new relationship has a much higher success rate than your other alternatives.

Your Next Steps

Making him want you back now is crucial. You have to use powerful psychological techniques to make him realise that he is making a mistake with this new girl. You also have to be careful not to make these break up mistakes if you are serious about getting him back. Many girls do not think that they are doing anything wrong when they do these things, but he views it differently. Look out for signs he still loves you, then you will know that you are on the right track.