If you're going through a break up or have been split up for a while, you'll probably be feeling completely lost without your partner. You'll no doubt have suffered with desperation, fear, sadness, depression, anxiety and no doubt be struggling to concentrate on your daily routine, work and family life. Looking back to when I went through it, I remember trying to constantly get in contact with my ex and wanting to talk, only it never did any good. This only exacerbated the situation and intensified my feelings that drove me to pursue my ex even more and continuously bombard them with texts e-mails and phone calls hoping to get answers. All the while I was feeling worse that we seemed to drift further apart.

This needy behaviour never works and is something that needs handling properly if you're to succeed in getting your ex back. I effectively pushed them away by being like this. There are a lot of principles and techniques that you can learn and use which seem counterintuitive to help you get your ex back. Some of them are more counter intuitive than others but there is definitely help available to help you get what you want most of all.

A big key in getting back your ex boyfriend is to have what they saw in you originally. That means you should create attraction. You need to present yourself as an attractive option for them and not someone who is constantly pestering them by bombarding them with text and e-mails etc. Some good ideas would be to change your appearance, (not drastically) just enough that it will get your ex boyfriends attention. Simply changing your wardrobe buying some new clothes having a haircut wearing new perfume and losing some weight could work wonders for your appearance. These are just a small number of factors that could help you getting your ex-boyfriend back.

Another big factor is having fun and being seen to have fun. If you are genuinely happy inside it will show on the outside and people will pick up on it. Having confidence is probably what he saw in you originally and is definitely something you need to pursue now. Take up some new hobbies, meet new people, hang out with friends you haven't seen for a long time and just find your feet again. You'll find you'll start to build your independence back up and you’ll show that you can survive and enjoy yourself without your boyfriend. This will do you the world of good!

Start looking after you and you'll begin to feel like you don't need that person so much and you'll realise the world won't end and you won't die because you're not together. You can concentrate on what you want to do and turn you focus on to something constructive or fun.

After a while and once you’ve learned to let go of those desperate feelings is when you’ll really become more attractive to everyone. Not just your ex. You’ll find more people notice you and smile at you in the street and more people will want to get to know you. This phase usually seems to follow a breakup when you’re truly ready for it. You can master your own destiny, get the power to choose if you want to get back with your boyfriend and accept him back into your life.