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How To Get Back Your Boyfriend - Key Techniques
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How To Get Back Your Boyfriend  -  Key Techniques

If you're recently undergone a breakup that you neither initiated nor wanted you may feel overwhelmed and desperately trying to tread water in order to keep breathing. Breakups feel like repeated kicks in the gut and learning how to stand up again is a process that must be recommitted to on a daily (if not hourly) basis. If you want to be able to get back together with your boyfriend you must avoid making mistakes that are all-too-common in emotionally charged situations. These steps are meant to take you out of a negative mind-frame and set your course in a positive direction.

Step 1 - Don't Put Up a Fight:

During the breakup process, it's often easy to succumb to the innate desire to fight for what you believe you're entitled to. This makes a bad situation even worse and can limit your chances of reconciliation down the road. To avoid this error in judgment, two policies must immediately be put into place on your own terms - not because your ex-boyfriend wanted to.

The first thing you have to do is come to a place of acceptance and realize that right now the breakup really did happen and it's real. There are stages to grief that are often associated with the death of a friend or loved one, but breakups often entail the same emotions. Denial and anger are a part of the process, but they're not productive overall. In order to get yourself into the right frame of mind to go after what you want, you need to accept that your relationship as it was is at an end.

Immediately after your ex-boyfriend dumped you it may be tempting to text him or call him every time you think of something that you SHOULD have said but didn't think of until now. Don't. In fact, don't text or call him at all. You need to restrict all access he has to you in order for him to start missing you as a part of his life. Guess what? He can't miss you if you're always in his face. As difficult as it may be to wrap your mind around the idea that your go-to person to talk to is no longer available, you need to put your foot down - and then commit yourself to a complete lack of contact for up to a month following your breakup.

Step 2 - Dive Into Distraction:

If you want to keep yourself occupied and not thinking about all the time that you would be spending with your ex-boyfriend had the breakup not happened, you need to get up and get active. When it comes right down to it, you're responsible for yourself. Peel yourself off of the recliner and go enjoy the sunshine.

Whether you're renewing your love of public libraries or discovering your favorite new city park, getting motivated is an important part of the process. Not only should you be getting out there, you should be enjoying some physical exercise at the same time. With its natural endorphins acting as anti-depressants and relieving every-day stress, exercise is a healthy alternative to drinking a six-pack of beer and consuming mass-amounts of chocolate. No matter what motivates you, get out there and go for it and leave the wallowing behind for good.

Step 3: Reconnect with Your Crew:

People in relationships tend to go through a period where they unintentionally exclude others and focus only on their own little world. If you realize that it's been too long since you had a night out with the girls, schedule one and join the party. Your friends are a natural and capable support system that's going to help you through the hardest parts of your plan - and may even be able to offer helpful tips in the process. They can keep your spirits up and your motivation running high. Friends are wonderful distractions for the pain of heartbreak so don't be afraid to turn to them for some extra support while you're dealing with the fallout.

Putting these three steps to use is going to accomplish two major things at the same time. First, you're going to feel better about yourself and look better as an added bonus. Additionally, it's going to essentially make you more mysterious to your ex - no matter how well he knew you while you were dating. He's going to start thinking about the fact that you're not begging for a second chance. For all he knows, you may have met someone else or moved on. Even though he ended things, no guy wants to feel like they've been left behind. Since you were able to commit to a plan and stay focused you've managed to do the one thing that you thought was improbable - you gained his respect, his attention and his curiosity. What you do with it now is up to you.

Your Next Steps

A how to get back your boyfriend approach is needed at this point if you want to be successful, you cannot merely wing it and hope for the best. Putting a plan of action in place starts with reading up on the male psyche and understanding the signs he still loves you. He may not verbalise how he really feels about you after the break up, but there are clues there that you need to recognise to know where you stand with him.

Watching out for post break up mistakes is also crucial if you want to get him back. There is a very strong chance that you are doing the wrong things and not even realising it, so get clued in about what kinds of things you should be avoiding.


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  about 1 decade ago
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