If you're unsure of how to reconnect with your husband after a separation period, here are some basic guidelines to help you get back on track with life.
First of all, you should allow a time window of 30 days of no contact from your husband after separation. This time will allow you to rest, recover, and heal emotionally after your breakup.
After the 30 days has passed, you should write your husband a letter, in which you say:
1. I'm okay with the breakup
2. Hope you're doing well
3. I'm in a good place right now emotionally
In your own words, of course. But basically what you want to communicate is that you are emotionally healing after the breakup. This will paint a picture of you in his mind that says, "she's getting better" and will make him more interested in what's going on with you.
The reason for this? He expects you to be depressed and struggling over the breakup; telling him that you're doing well will actually throw him off. And that's a great way to make him interested - to evoke an emotional response.
You should also have made a list of reasons why you separated to begin with. Look at the pros and cons of your relationship very carefully.
Instead of coming at this separation from an angle of desperation, consider: is he really the best catch for me? What do I love about him? What annoys me? Can I live with his mistakes?
Consider your past with your husband and really put some thought into your separation, and why it occurred. Is your marriage a positive one, on the whole? If so, and the two of you can generally make up after an argument, then it's quite possible that your separation was the cause of circumstances - not personality differences.
What I mean by that is:
-Neither of you were properly communicating.
-You interpreted these arguments as a lack of love.
-Gender differences in the male and female brains prevented you from really getting emotionally intimate.
-You both needed to distance yourselves from your emotions in order to really get the relationship on track again.
Another reason to go for the 30 days of no contact is to get yourself OUT of the panicked emotional haze that results from a breakup, and into the state of mind where you can make calm, rational decisions.
I really do advise this 30 day period. Use it to regain your sense of emotional grounding and really heal and recover. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, and then realize they're going to pass.
Even if it doesn't feel like your life has any emotional stability right now, I promise this won't last. The feeling of being out of control after a breakup is only temporary, as a result of this major life change. If you want to know "how to get my husband back after separation", simply follow the instructions in this article, and really take time to let yourself rest and recover before contacting him again.
Article Views: 33835 Report this Article