Breakups are hard not only because of the emotional turmoil that comes with it, but also because you find yourself confused whether to move on or try to get your ex back on you. Most people will say that you should just go forward and forgetting about the guy. But what if you can get your ex coming back to you?

This article will help you deal with this heartache. But instead of listing things you can do to win him back, this will be a compilation of things you should not do to avoid ruining your chances to be in a relationship with your ex for the second time around. Follow these and maybe your ex will be the one searching for tips on “how to get your ex girlfriend back.”

Do not plead.

After your ex leaves you, it is natural to feel tempted to beg him to stay. However even if you tell your ex that you cannot live without him, chances are, he will not take you back. Pleading and coming off as being very needy of your ex will only drive him further away from you. This will not attract your ex and he may even believe that he had made the right decision to break up with you.

Do not be a doormat.

Begging and pleading is usually followed by symptoms of the doormat syndrome which is a desperate attempt to get your ex to stay with you by sacrificing your own happiness to please him. Do not tell your ex boyfriend that you will do this and that so as to convince him to get back with you. This will not work effectively even if you manage to persuade him to stay for the mean time. It will only make you unhappy in the long run and will probably end up in another breakup.

Do not bombard him with messages.

Even when your hands are itching to send him an SMS or IM, fight it and try to control yourself. Your ex broke up with you to get some time off. Bombarding him with messages will only make him feel tired of you. Do not get in touch with him for a couple of weeks or even months and make yourself scarce. See it as making your ex boyfriend long for you instead of giving in for your longing.

Do not be a contingency plan.

If your ex suddenly contacts you, do not take him back that easily. Even if you really miss your ex, act and talk like you have already moved on. This is very difficult to do, but it pays to not be too easy to get. If always make yourself available to your ex, he will just find it as easy to breakup with you again.