If you should only understand one thing about guys it is this - they want what they can't have. It has always been like this and undoubtedly will continue to be so. It is just one of the things about male psychology that will always remain consistent, this is why you should be using it to your advantage.
This essentially means that the more you are around your ex boyfriend and the more contact you have with him, the less he will want you and this means he will NEVER feel the need to chase you. What you have to do is to use reverse psychology to make him want to chase you again, make him powerless to resist you. The first step is disappearing from his life.
The ironic thing is that most girls think that if they do this, he will soon forget about them and move on completely. They believe that if they are always around, he will soon see the error of his ways and come crawling back to them. The opposite is in fact true. The more you pester your ex boyfriend or try to make him see you as attractive again, the less likely he is to see your true potential.
Work Out What Men Find Attractive
You are TRYING TOO HARD and this is very off-putting to the opposite sex. Men like the thrill of the chase, so you have to give it to him. Make him think that you are someone worth chasing and that you have better things to do than hang around waiting for him to change his mind.
When you take yourself out of the equation he will notice that you have gone - you can be sure of that. We value that most which is rare. So if you are always in his line of sight or too available, he will not value you anymore. He did before you got together because there was intrigue there, he didn't know if he could get you or not, there was so much about you and your life that he was unaware of. This is what creates attraction in the opposite sex. If you give him everything on a plate he will not appreciate it.
Men also like women who are independent and have their own lives. If you seem to be sitting around waiting for him he will feel a bit suffocated. He will admire that you have interests and passions of your own - this is what makes you unique. Why not take up a new hobby or immerse yourself in something that you love? He will see a change in you and be more attracted to you as a result. You will be creating an air of mystery around you again like you did when he was chasing you before you got together.
A Game Of Push And Pull
When you are the one that is chasing him, he will stop chasing you. It is a complex strategy of push and pull. You have to get this right if you want to get him back in the end. Pushing him away with disinterest will arouse his curiosity about you, but you can't go too far here. The more you push him away, he will eventually think that you are not interested and give up. You have to encourage him in some respects, show interest, and then when he makes a move you have to pretend that you are busy. This works wonders and will disarm him, causing him to crave you and want you more, as a result you will make him case you again.
Stop Contacting Him - It Only Pushes Him Away
Every instinct in your body is probably telling you that this is a bad idea - how can you convince him to want you back if you are not dropping hints? Male psychology is a lot more subtle than this. You can drop hints from afar by the way you behave - not necessarily what you say. You might think that you disappear from his life it will make him forget about you quicker and he will move on. That is NOT the case.
Have you ever heard of the term 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? It is the truth. You miss him now because he is not around or available after the break up. Ask yourself if you have given him the opportunity to miss you yet? Are you badgering him with texts, emails or Facebook posts? If so it is time to step back and examine your behaviour, because it obviously isn't working.
By texting him and being continually available for him, you are only boosting his male ego and affirming that he can get you back whenever he wants. It is kind of upsetting to hear, but men like to play games too, and if he thinks that you are still hung up on him, he will not have to do anything for fear of losing you - basically you are right where he wants you.
Until you unplug your Facebook, switch off your phone and avoid all communication with him, nothing is going to change, in fact it is only going to get worse. You want him to chase you right? Well first you have to stop chasing him and showing interest. When he suddenly realises that you are not there anymore, all of these questions will arise in his head - 'where has she gone?', 'Does she not like me anymore?'. He will not feel as confident as he once did and worry that he could have lost you forever. This is when HE STARTS TO CHASE YOU instead.
Your Next Steps
Okay, so you have learnt some of the ground rules about making your ex boyfriend chase you. Now you have to up the ante and learn about the no contact rule, why it is so important and how it can make him want you back quickly.
You also have to make sure that you are not making any of these break up mistakes. Lots of girls are guilty of doing these things without even knowing it. They will drastically diminish your chances of getting him back, so please make sure that you are not doing these things.
Article Views: 2754 Report this Article