After a breakup, our lives are spun out of control.  You have no idea if she's going to come back to you, if she's seeing someone else, and you feel desperate to get her back.  Here are three things you can do to make yourself feel better - and ultimately reconnect with her, if it's meant to be between the two of you.

While not all relationships work out, it is possible to get her back, provided you learn how to control your emotions, give her (and yourself) some time after the breakup, and finally re-establish contact with the simple intent of being friends.

1. Give yourself time.

You need this time to yourself, and she needs some time as well.  In fact, it can actually really change things in your favor if you start withdrawing your attention, because if you're like most people, you'll have been desperately chasing her to get her back.

If you give yourself time to heal and recover, you'll come across as being less desperate, which will make her more inclined to talk with/spend time with you again.

2. Shift the balance.

After a breakup, what many people fail to do (and why so many people think breakups are permanent) is that they fail to shift the balance of power.

When you change who's chasing who - simply by withdrawing your efforts to get her to come back to you - you make it so SHE wants to know what you're up to, not vice versa.

This requires a change in mindset, which is hard for many people, but necessary when you want to know how to reconnect with her after breaking up. 

3. Go no contact if necessary.

You will hear a lot about going no contact after a breakup.  No contact is basically ceasing to call and text your ex, so that you both can have a chance to let your emotions calm down.

It also allows you to break the pattern of anxiety and "freaking out" that your relationship will have endured to this point.

So if you feel you can't keep your emotions under wraps when she's around, I advise going no contact for 3-4 weeks.  It will let you see that you can stand on your own two feet and you do not NEED her quite as desperately as you may have believed.

Implementing these three steps will help you get your head back in a calm state of mind, and finally reconnect with her when the time is right.  Hopefully you'll be able to make things right again, as well, in your relationship.