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There is another girl on the scene and you don't know where to turn. You thought that your ex boyfriend would at least wait a while before getting back on the horse, but no, he is with a new girl and you have to watch them together. It doesn't seem fair does it? He is moving on with his life, has found someone and is happy. You on the other hand are still pining after him and want him to reconsider. There are ways that you can steal him back from another girl but you have to be clever about it for it to work.
Accept His New Girlfriend
It is a lot to ask I know. Just because you accept that he has another girl in his life, it does not mean that you have to be happy with it or encourage it though. It will actually help you in the long run by making you feel a lot more focused on task at hand - getting your boyfriend back. It will also make your ex boyfriend look at you differently. He probably expected you to put up some kind of a fight or at least have a few sarky comments about his new relationship. When you behave in a mature and dignified way he will be surprised and start seeing you in a positive light again.
You have to come to terms with the fact that your previous relationship with him has ended and that he has decided to try moving on. If you refuse to do this you will be doing yourself no favours. Not facing up to reality here and being in a continual state of denial will not make this new girl go away. It is time to rationalize all of these conflicting feelings and emotions that you are feeling now. Make sense of what has just happened in your own mind before you start to devise a plan to get him back. When you think clearly, everything that you do after that will be a lot more effective.
If you do not accept his new girlfriend then you are headed for disaster. He needs to see that you are okay with it - at least on the outside, for it to work. If you are omitting jealousy or bitter vibes every time you see him or talk to him, you will only make him distrustful of you and will end up pushing him away. This will also make him very protective of his new girlfriend. If he thinks that you cannot be trusted and that you don't like her, he will rush to protect her from you, pushing them closer together and leaving you on the outside looking in.
Think Before Acting Rashly
Your first reaction when you find out that your ex boyfriend has a new girl is to call him. Maybe you have even marched round to his house and had it out with him. Why is he so cruel to move on so fast right in front of you? Maybe you know this girl and don't like her. You feel like it is your duty to warn him about why she is not right for him if he can't see it himself. You are overly protective of him still as you still have a lot of invested feelings in him. Your advice may be coming from a very kind and caring place but he doesn't see it like that.
No matter how you try to justify yourself, your ex boyfriend will only see it as interfering, jealousy and an inability for you to move on. He may even end up thinking that you are desperate and pathetic, trying to come between them because you haven't moved on yet. This is NOT what you want your ex boyfriend to think about you EVER.
So just remember that whatever you say will not be accepted at face value. He will be reading into everything trying to discern what your motives are. Pouring poison in his ear about his new girlfriend will not reflect badly on her as you intended, in fact it will have the opposite affect. He will only end up seeing you in a bad light and subsequently want to avoid you at all costs. Do NOT allow this to happen if you are serious about getting him back again.
Every fiber of your body wants to run to him and plead for him to reconsider before he falls in love with this new girl. You think that by explaining how much you love him, you will get him back. You are scared, that is normal. A new girl on the scene suddenly takes the rug from underneath your feet and you feel like you could lose him for good. This is not the way to play it though. You will scare him off big time and make him glad that he is finally seeing a girl who is not dramatic and knows what he wants. You will also come off as extremely desperate and this is not an attractive quality for any man.
Instead of pushing the both of them closer together, why don't you take a step back and examine your actions before you make them? You will be glad you did. By avoiding the common mistakes that women in your situation make you will retain your self respect and dignity. Your ex boyfriend will be looking on to see your reactions, so don't give him any to talk about. Give him the opposite of what he expects and he will soon be wondering why you are not that bothered by his new relationship. Patience is key here, you can't expect him to just dump his new girlfriend overnight and come rushing back to you. Have the end goal in mind at all times and you will succeed.
Your Next Steps
This is only the start of your work, you will have to be working behind the scenes to make sure that your ex boyfriend starts to take notice of you again. There are ways to make him want you back and realise that he is making a mistake with this new girl. You will also have to make sure that you avoid these post break up mistakes at all costs. Making these will only push your ex boyfriend closer to this new girl and that is not what you want to happen.
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