This Article is About
emotional upheaval
getting back together with an ex
correct time
light at the end of the tunnel
How To Win Back Your Boyfriend - Looking At Things From His Perspective Is Key
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How To Win Back Your Boyfriend  -  Looking At Things From His Perspective Is Key

The internet is full of advice on getting back together with an ex. The problem is that the advice seems to conflict and there are a million different techniques that can give you a million different results. Instead of just jumping at the first thing you find, try to clear your head. Acting based on emotional upheaval may feel good at the time but it can be counter-productive. You don't want to end up shooting yourself in the foot and blowing your chance.

While you want to act, you need to take the correct action at the correct time. Knowing what to do when is not easy. Timing is everything, especially in tumultuous, volatile situations like an unwelcomed breakup. If you keep your cool, you're giving yourself every opportunity to succeed. Conversely, if you allow your emotions to dictate your actions you may just be out of chances before you begin.

Start The Process and Get Moving

You know that becoming a hermit is counter-productive but you're also smart enough to not just go with the first idea that comes to mind. You know that acting rationally is only going to help you in the end but controlling those impulses is far from easy. Before you make any moves forward, you need to get off of the couch and put away the Kleenex. From there, getting on track isn't as difficult as you fear. In fact, getting up and taking action is a positive first step.

Once you're up and moving again, it's time to put your mind to work. You don't want to act in a way that will limit your chances or remove them completely. You want to make sure that your efforts will be well-received - or at least received at all. It can be incredibly frustrating to be doing all the work - no one wants to feel like their attempts are all one-sided but for now, that's how it has to be. It means that you have your work cut out for you, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Any contact between you and your ex following the breakup has probably been pretty sparse. Contrary to what you may think, this is actually a good thing. In order to have a chance at getting your ex-boyfriend back, he first needs to see renewed contact as a good thing and that simply isn't the case right now. Now he's probably giving you the silent treatment and it's to be expected. Don't try and make contact too soon. He'll respect you more for your attempts later on and he'll be grateful that you temporarily kept your distance.

If it sounds like a list of don'ts, here's one more - don't lose heart. If you're wondering if there is any positive step you can take to make the process less time consuming, you can.

First, you can take away his confidence. He believes that he has you right where he wants you. You still want to be in a relationship, and you want it to be with him. Regardless of what you've done or said, the message has gotten across loud and clear. You want to let him know that is simply not the case. No guy wants to watch their ex-girlfriend start the process of moving on - especially when they haven't gotten to that point themselves. Seeing you in a positive position rather than down in the dumps is going to have a huge impact on the way he sees you - and it's going to show him that you're still a desirable woman who has a lot of dating potential.

Get Him To Notice You Again

Keeping contact at bay is going to enable two things to happen. It's firstly going to make him stop and realize that he misses you. He won't be able to talk to you whenever he wants and he won't know what's going on in your life and that will trigger those positive sentiments again. Once he misses you, he will be more open to the idea of being with you again. None of that will be possible unless you go away to begin with.

He's also going to sit up and pay attention as soon as all your efforts to get his attention suddenly stop. He may roll his eyes every time you've tried, but he secretly likes the attention. He's counting on it through this process to feed his self-confidence and enable him to move forward without completely letting go. Once his backup plan seems to deteriorate under his feet, he's going to notice in a big way. He's going to notice that you're acting stronger and more assured than ever and this is going to be something that he appreciates and respects throughout the process.

Although your ex may have seemed certain and cocky towards the beginning of the breakup, you're starting to steer him in a direction that is anything but - and you don't really have to do much of anything to accomplish it. The more assured and confident you can seem right now, the more he will wonder why. He is starting to realize that he's run out of information and he has no insight into your current life. As far as he's concerned, you could be doing anything - including starting to date other guys.

He never considered the possibility that you'd be able to move forward and date other people. He had a timeframe in his mind, and he was probably planning on moving on long before you did. After all, he's the one that called the relationship to an end. You encouraged this belief by the way you acted in the beginning, but things have taken a drastic turn. He's going to start wondering why. That's when things will really start turning around - he'll want to stop this process as soon as he realizes that he lost the upper hand and he's going to act sooner rather than later.

Emotional Ties Don't Sever Quickly

Despite how the breakup took place, assuming that your ex's feelings just went away the instant he walked away is a critical mistake. His feelings are still there, and he's still connected to you - perhaps deeper and stronger than you think.

You can use this knowledge to reconnect and strengthen those bonds all over again. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to start reconnecting those emotions with the situations that made them possible. You can begin to bring the memories you shared together to the surface without having to lay all your cards on the table. If you act cautiously with your discretion you can actually push his thoughts in the direction you want - without having to push him.

Pushing him has not worked in the past, and it won't work now. That's why you have to prepare yourself in advance with a specific plan that encompasses all of your options and possibilities. The better prepared you are in advance, the more likely you are to pull this off and end up with the result you're hoping for.

Your Next Steps

Now is not the time to give up, hopefully you have realised that you can get him back, you just have to go about it in the right way and have a lot of patience - he will not come rushing back overnight. A big part of the problem lies in women making these break up mistakes. They don't realise that they are doing anything wrong because they are acting in a way that seems natural to them. However, your ex boyfriend does not see your emotions as natural, in fact he is kind of perturbed by them.

An excellent first strategy to use is the no contact rule with your ex boyfriend. Read up on exactly what it entails, what is going through his mind at this time and learn how he reacts to certain things that you do. After that, you really need to make him want you back by understanding what makes men tick and what they find attractive.

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