This Article is About
jumping the gun
sudden moves
breakups
hurdle
desperation
free time
reconciliation
current situation
imagination
circumstances
How To Win My Ex Boyfriend Back - Listen Up!
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How To Win My Ex Boyfriend Back  -  Listen Up!

You're dazed, confused and heartbroken. You thought that everything was finally going your way. You were making progress towards a real future with someone you really loved - and he ended it. His reasons for the decision left you feeling vulnerable and insecure and probably a little pissed. You don't understand what went so wrong. You can only focus on one thing - getting back together - and you're not alone.

The good news is that despite the specific and unique circumstances surrounding your breakup, it is possible to get your ex-boyfriend back. The spark may have fizzled out temporarily, but it doesn't have to be permanent. If you want to have the best chance at reconciliation, you need to act. Not only do you need to act quickly, but you have to act smartly. Jumping the gun and doing whatever comes to mind first is not going to give you the best results. It's better to be calm and think rationally before making any sudden moves. The last thing you want to do is chase him off for good.

Take Action - Your First Moves

Desperation doesn't seem to dissipate with time, does it? It seems to get worse and worse with each day that passes. Your breakup is moving further and further away and you feel like your chances are moving away with it. The guy you love may be spending all of his free time with another girl, and you're left at home to try and pick up the pieces. As hard as it may be, don't let your imagination run wild. Being consumed with "what if's" won't help your current situation - and you need all the help that you can get.

There seem to be nearly insurmountable problems facing you and it seems like there are a million stumbling blocks in your path. Truthfully, it is a difficult position and not one that is easily overcome. If it were easy, breakups wouldn't happen. The last thing you want is yet one more hurdle - so don't become one for yourself. Make sure that every move you make is considered prior to putting it in play and consider your timing. As difficult as it may be, think outside of yourself right now and take the time to consider the impact that your actions will have on others - especially your ex-boyfriend.

Guys don't like to feel pressured, crowded or smothered and that is especially true after a breakup. Your ex is dealing with a lot of his own emotions right now and won't respond positively to any attempts you make to insert yourself into his life again. Clearly you need to reestablish contact at some point, but doing it too soon will cripple your efforts significantly. Give yourself a fighting chance by allowing some distance to form between the two of you. That makes later contact more positive and gives you a much better playing field to stand on.

Is there a way to speed up the process? Waiting can seem like a form of torture that becomes nearly unbearable. The good news is that you can take action - and you can do it in a way that increases your chances rather than limiting their overall success.

Just because you can't make contact during this time period doesn't mean that you're stuck with limited options. You have a world of possibilities ahead of you and you are in a better position than you imagine. Your ex never had to consider that you'd walk away. He's convinced that he can keep you as a backup in case things don't work out. By fighting the breakup or trying to get him to reconsider you're feeding into his self-confidence and giving him the extra boost he needs to go explore his options. He hasn't had to face the chance that he'd be left in the dust. You can make that option a glaring reality (at least as far as he's concerned) and start the process of doubt in his mind.

Create an Attraction and Interest

Attraction is triggered by curiosity and his interest in you won't be apparent unless you've limited his ability to know what you're up to at every moment. If all of your information is out there in the open on Facebook or through communication, he won't have a reason to wonder. That's why it's imperative that you keep your distance. It's only by maintaining that distance that he can start to miss you again and he can't want you back until that happens.

You need to find a way to enact your own form of the breakup. Although he made the first move by ending the relationship, you can still put your own part into play. He's fully expecting you to pursue him for quite some time - in fact he's counting on it. Don't give in to temptation. Do the opposite. Give him the impression that maybe the breakup was a good thing for you too. Show him that you're not simply waiting around for a second chance - you're moving on, and you're doing it without him.

He never thought that he'd have to watch you move on. It didn't even occur to him - at least not until now when the possibility is right in front of him. Why are you able to get over him so quickly? Why aren't you asking him for another chance? Why are you not trying to maintain contact? Could you possibly be seeing someone else? Did he lose you for good?

His imagination is going to drive him just as crazy as yours was initially. You're pretty much sticking him in the same situation that he put you in when he left you, and he never expected to be faced with that reality. He's starting to question everything and with questions comes doubt. What if he never should have broken things off with you? Is it too late? Is there anything he can do to try and get you back? Will it work at all? Now he's going to have to do something - unless he wants to watch you walk away forever. Getting him back at this point is possible.

Your Connection Still Exists

Think of all the time you spent together as a couple. Every memory you made worked towards more than just building a scrapbook of things you did together - they created a bond between the two of you that is not easily severed. Even breakups can't cut those ties immediately. Getting over them takes time, and your ex is nowhere near over his existing feelings for you.

These feelings may be bubbling up and spilling out in his mind in unexpected ways. Maybe he's starting to remember the past and take note of all the ways that your relationship benefited both of you. Maybe he's starting to allow those feelings out more often. That's why you need to encourage him in that direction - but you need to do it quietly without getting in his face.

Avoid jumping in any direction right now just to make your move. Timing is still a vital part of this process, and you don't want to jump the gun. That means that you have to take your time and get yourself as well prepared as possible.

Your Next Steps

There are a few break up mistakes that you must avoid if you are serious about winning back your ex boyfriend. Women who are guilty of doing these things will only ruin their chances completely and put him off for good.

You will probably be interested in knowing how your ex boyfriend feels about you. Look out for the key signs he still loves you, then you will know that you are doing things correctly. If you do not think that your ex boyfriend is still interested, there are ways to bring his real feelings to the surface - you can make him jealous. Use this strategy with caution though as it can backfire if you are too obvious.


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