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negative feelings
crucial moment
heat of the moment
point of view
mistake
admission
consequences
relationship
truth
I Cheated On My Boyfriend But I Want Him Back
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I Cheated On My Boyfriend But I Want Him Back

So you cheated on your boyfriend and now he's your ex. If you see things from his point of view, it's not difficult to understand why he chose to end things in the heat of the moment. He was hit with the worst possible kind of news. An unfaithful partner can be overwhelming and a lot of negative feelings hit all at once. It's normal to overreact to this kind of news - more so if he caught you in the act. Now is not the time to lose hope if you sincerely want to reclaim your relationship. Some serious steps need to be taken to assure your ex that the affair was a one-time mistake that will not be repeated. Trust can be easily broken but it is not easy to repair. It is possible, however, if you are fully committed to the process - and prepared for a lot of work ahead.

Don't Avoid the Obvious:

When confronted by an accusation of cheating by a boyfriend, certain facts become irrelevant. It no longer matters whether it was a one-time mistake or a full blown affair. It doesn't matter how your boyfriend stumbled upon the information or how he found out. It doesn't matter if it was your idea or not. The only thing that matters in this crucial moment is your honest admission to the truth.

If your boyfriend asks you flat out whether or not you cheated on him, it's a yes or no question. The common mistake is to try and justify being unfaithful and shift the focus off of yourself. Being accused of things is uncomfortable, especially in a relationship setting. The answer is not "yes, but…(insert whatever plausible excuse comes to mind here)". If you were unfaithful to your relationship, the answer is simply yes. It's better to just say it now and deal with the consequences than trying to tap-dance around the issue and have it come back to bite you later.

Accept the Weight of Your Responsibility:

Realizing that you're sincerely, truly at fault for something that has happened can be a crushing, devastating blow. Unfortunately, it's one that is often completely avoided in this very important process. Accepting blame is absolutely necessary if you want your relationship to continue and have a chance of lasting. If you try to defend yourself here, you're going to be met with a whole lot of negativity.

Try seeing it from your boyfriend's point of view. Can you think of anything you could do (short of cheating) that would make it okay for him to go cheat on you? Are any words or habits or fights bad enough to give him the justification to break a commitment, even if it's just for one night? When you think of things in those terms, it's easy to understand why trying to explain away your affair isn't only going to make a bad situation worse; it's going to make it nearly impossible to forgive and move on. True reconciliation can only occur after both parties have accepted responsibility for their own choices and actions. As much as it stinks to do, it simply must be done - and the sooner you do it, the better off you'll be.

Give Him the Chance to Recover:

Hurt cuts to the quick and although your ex-boyfriend never showed a lot of emotion, he's going to be feeling this one. Betrayal, disgust, jealousy and bitterness are going to seem to take over, which is why it's best for you to simply cut ties for the moment and avoid the chance that he sees you as a verbal target for all of his anger. If you're continually begging for another chance or apologizing repeatedly like a broken record, he never has to weigh his options. You're right there and since you're within shouting distance, you're a natural target.

Your ex needs to start to miss you if you are to get him back, no matter how outlandish the idea seems. In order to allow it to happen, you have to give him a wide berth. If he realizes that he can't get ahold of you via phone or email, he's going to start wondering what you're doing - or more likely who you're with. Things are out of your hands - at least for the moment. After accepting responsibility for what you did and coming clean, he has to make the decision to move forward or let go. You have to let him come to it on his own terms, and in his own time. The fact of the matter is that forgiveness may seem out of reach right now in his mind, but if he accepts that he still loves you it will seem more feasible - and something he's willing to work towards to get you back.

Offer Him some Reassurance:

It's true that words may not carry a lot of weight given the gravity of the situation. Trust once broken is not always simply repaired, nor can it be shuffled off into a corner and ignored. Although your words may not seem to mean as much as they once did, they are still necessary once contact is reestablished. You can't just say anything that pops into your head, though. He's agreed to talk to you but it's important that you reinforce his feelings and not try to limit them or trivialize them.

While making jokes is a natural remedy to tension, it is not always appropriate and when it comes to unfaithfulness or the hurt that undoubtedly accompanies it. What does need to be said, however, needs to be sincere and heartfelt regardless of how it is received on his end. He's feeling insecure and emotionally vulnerable and needs your reassurance - even if he can't come right out and say it. Therefore, validating his feelings and assuring him that you're here to stay is absolutely essential. Only then can damaged bonds be repaired, trust reestablished and a new relationship born from the ashes.

Your Next Steps

When you cheat on your boyfriend getting him back can seem impossible. You have to be patient and start to look at things from his perspective if you want him back. One of the most effective things that you can do right now is make him miss you as this will have a huge impact on how he views getting back together.

Interested in knowing his real feelings about you? Watch for signs he still loves you to enable you to know where you stand with him.


Street Talk

dr. marnish solved my relationship problem 3 days ago , i sent him some gift of appreciation for the Commitment love Spell he did for me, he made my lover to love me again. and to be committed to me again, i am very very much happy. dr.marnish brought me happiness, email dr.marnish@yahoo. com or call him +15036626930 he will turn your broken relationship around Rebecca Kemaya

Reply
  about 8 years ago
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