To be left after almost 30 years of marriage are changing event. Here you can read about my experience of separation and divorce. Divorce / separation, it was something that did not exist in my world of thought. We had been married almost 30 years, a good marriage, fine, well-behaved children, etc.. Sure, we had our arguments, but differ where the road was long, I thought.
A dark, rainy autumn day my husband wanted to talk to me. We took a walk and he told me that he wanted a divorce. I thought he was pulling my leg, but was soon clear to me that he was serious. It was as if someone stuck a knife in my stomach and twisted it. The pain I experienced when I can not describe with words. Everything was chaos. How could it be with the kids? How would my future life look like, house, friends, well, everything spun. We went home. I could not be home but went to a couple of good friends. Just need to talk to someone. I felt like I would suffocate.
Everything went very quickly. After a month he had acquired an apartment and moved. Christmas was approaching, everything was a mess. Not until much later I realized that I lived in a state of shock. I was very creative. Tweaked with everything. For me it was good to have a job to go to.
I contacted the church family, where I had to come and talk to a wonderful woman. She made me realize that my life would go on. Something that I value very much where my closest friends. They called on a regular basis, did things with me. I wanted to "dwell on" the separation of them, I could do it, but I wanted to talk about something else was even okay. I felt so bad, so I could not call, but my friends did.
Today, three years later, me and my husband live together again. I got my ex back after realizing that also I had to change. This is what I did.
1st Listen Listening without providing solutions provide the opportunity for your partner to unload a portion of the questions and thoughts weighing on him.
2nd Bid on the silence and stillness Instead of quickly tell you about all our problems, concerns and thoughts during the day, we can offer our partners a moment of peace and quiet before we share our day.
4th Meet your partner's needs In stressful situations, we usually have a greater need to feel loved and appreciated. Woo your partner the way he or she feel most loved on.
5th Make your home a safe haven Let your home be a safe and relaxed place in life where you can enjoy an effortless existence.
6th Lower your expectations When the pressure gets too high is and thinks we are not always rational. Lower the expectations and talk about what expectations you have for each other and what your main needs are for such conditions.
7th Make sure that your partner is with the family! Although we believe that we facilitate for our partners by managing all the work and planning in the home, chances are that we ultimately put our partners outside the family if we do not let him participate in the daily planning.
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