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Ignoring Your Ex Boyfriend - How To Show Him That You Don't Need Him
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Ignoring Your Ex Boyfriend  -  How To Show Him That You Don\'t Need Him

It seems impossible to get over your ex. You've tried, time and time again, and can't stop thinking about him or the time that you spent together. All your attempts to move on have failed. You think about him when you wake up in the morning, and when you go to bed at night. Every moment throughout the day that you let your mind wander, your thoughts seem to drift to him naturally. You miss the feeling of comfort and security that you had when you were together. Unfortunately, you're in a difficult situation, and the battle to overcome these obstacles is going to be a hard, uphill battle.

You know that you want to get him back. You know that you need to get him back. But knowing it and making that knowledge a reality are very different things. Telling him that you miss him and want him is not the way to win him back - you've probably tried that with no success. What you need to do is the opposite - make him think that you don't want him anymore. Showing him your independence is one of the best ways to get him to want you back. It may seem counter-productive, but it's human nature to want what seems unavailable. By playing on those subtle psychological triggers, he will want nothing more to rekindle your relationship and get you back.

Avoid Contact

The best and most effective way to show your ex-boyfriend that you don't need him anymore is to stop trying to talk to him. If this seems obvious, it should be. Women often find themselves in the position of chasing their ex after the breakup. This is a desperate attempt to try and talk to him and resolve their own feelings of inadequacy by focusing on what went wrong. Women often try to fix their relationship problems once it's too late. All of a sudden, the realization that the relationship is at an end hits them and they scramble to try and talk about his feelings and what he feels was missing.

The sad truth is that the more you reach out and try to rehash the difficulties and problems in your former relationship, the less likely it is that you'll get back together. If you want him to be able to experience loneliness first-hand and figure out what he's missing by not being with you, you have to keep your distance. It is very difficult to do and is often overwhelming. Instead of saying "I'm never going to talk to him again", take it one day at a time. Keep yourself busy today and don't pick up the phone every time he crosses your mind. Wait before sending impulsive messages. Once you've successfully avoided contact today, you can start the process tomorrow. Without even thinking about it, a few weeks have passed since the last time you two spoke.

Don't be on his timetable

If he knows instinctively that you'll do anything he asks without question because you still have feelings for him, he will absolutely take that for granted. Responding immediately to every text, phone call or email only reinforces his belief that he has you where he wants you, and he can instantly have you back if he decides to give you another shot. Don't let him think of you as his property ever - but especially not after he's ended your relationship. You are not on his leash, and he cannot expect you to submit to his will every time he wants something. Jumping at the chance to respond to him only lowers his respect for you. It will prove to him time and time again that you are still fawning over him and that you still need him in your life.

Instead of waiting by the phone, keep yourself busy. Let him see what he's truly missing by not having you. How will he ever have the chance to miss you if you're never gone? If you don't jump every time he beckons, he will be forced to think about how valuable you were and reexamine your place in his life. Your refusal to respond within his timeframe will force his hand and make him try harder to make an effort.

Enjoy Yourself

Live your life to the fullest! Don't allow yourself to become a hermit who just sits on the couch crying over your ex. Show him how strong, independent and vibrant you are. Succumbing to emotions is a normal part of the breakup process, but it should in no way be permanent. If you find yourself crying into your Ben and Jerry's ice cream while watching all your favorite romance movies on TV is a normal part of the process - but not for the rest of your life. This gives him the power in your dynamic. Take it back! Don't let him get away with believing that you're somehow damaged beyond repair and that you are unable to get on with your life without him.

Get back to the things that you truly enjoy doing. Do something nice for yourself each and every day. Go out with your friends and family. Our other relationships often suffer when we're involved with someone romantically since we spend a lot of time with our partners and not with others. Rekindle your friendships. Have a weekly girls' night out. Initiate a happy hour after work. When your ex sees you smiling and happy and not crying into your hot cocoa it will definitely impact the way he sees you. He'll start to get the picture that you don't really need him. Seeing you out and about will kick his ego into overdrive and he will do whatever he can to make you notice him again. He wants you to rely on him emotionally. If he senses that you've moved on and are no longer interested in what he has to offer, he won't be able to help himself. He'll be chasing after you again and you'll get him back.

The Next Step

The best way to turn a bad situation around is to take the control back over your own life. Make him chase you instead of the other way around. He will soon be realizing exactly what he lost and will find himself doing whatever it takes to prove himself to you again. Make him miss you and the connection that you used to share. By understanding the male mind (and ego) it's easier to accomplish than you may think.

There are ways to reinforce your efforts through Facebook if you want to get him back. Learning powerful Facebook attraction techniques will make him want you back and he will begin to contact you.

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