All you seem to do lately is remember back to the time when the two of you were so in love. Then came the break up. At the time it might have even been a relief, or maybe you wanted to work it out. Regardless of what happened, all you can think of right now is ‘I’m still in love, but my ex isn’t’. If that’s the case, you need to know you aren’t the only one. There are a lot of people have felt this way. Some of them were able to figure things out and work through the situation and you may be able to as well.

It’s perfectly all right to want to work things out so you can get back with your ex. What you will want to avoid is jumping right back into the relationship before really examining your feelings. Do you really love your ex still? Or are you just having feelings of anxiety over being alone? How did you feel when the two of you were together? Did the two of you accept each other for who you are, or were you trying to change each other? Was the relationship basically good? Be very honest when answering these questions, because you may find you aren’t really still in love with your ex. And that’s ok. It’s better to know for sure before you try to win your ex back.

If you find that your feelings for your ex are truly still there, the next thing to find out is if your ex might still have feelings for you. It may be a pleasant surprise to find that your ex misses you too. When the break up happened, emotions were running high, so things they said might not have been true. After being away from you they may be thinking the same thing you are, ‘I’m still in love, but my ex isn’t’.

They may be much more open to reconciliation than you think.

If you find that your ex isn’t ready to even think about trying again, the best thing to do is continue to give them some space. Be available if they want to talk, but don’t insert yourself into their lives unnecessarily. Be pleasant and treat them as you would any other friend. You won’t win your ex back by being needy or rude.

Keep in mind that while you can’t force your ex to love you again, you certainly can encourage them to have good feelings when they think about you. Remind them of the positive sides of your personality. It could turn, ‘I’m still in love, but my ex isn’t’ into ‘I can’t believe how great we are together!’