This Article is About
relationship
marital conflicts
psychology professor
physical responses
improving communication
mutual respect
mosquitoes
Improve Communication In Your Relationship
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Will is there. We want to continue to be we. But "love tool" is worn and scratched!

We fight about the wrong things, and we argue above all on the same things over again.

In this article I have collected the best "new" tools for improving communication in relationships!

John Gottman, an American psychology professor and relationship researcher who, among other things wrote the book "Seven golden rules for a happy love relationship" (which, incidentally, I think everyone interested un relationships should read) has for many years had couples move into a home-furnishings Research Laboratory, caressing called "The Love Lab."

There, they asked to act as naturally as possible to each other. Just like home. With the small exception that they have been monitored by cameras, microphones meant mosquitoes in kragsnibbarna and had a band with electrodes on your chest to measure physical responses.

Based on the results of experiments Gottman has since attempted to calculate the relationship was going to land, and his accuracy amounting by now to 91%. In nine cases out of ten, he already early to say whether a couple will divorce or not.

And this is what he came up to ...

Classic conflict does not help

One of the most interesting conclusions reached in the project is that there is capacity for good conflict management, for example through "active listening" that somehow determines how it goes with love. Of course it's good not to sweep the marital conflicts under the carpet, but according to Good's research, there are plenty of harmonic couples do exactly that and the relationship can do it.

Affection most important in a relationship

Research results show instead that happy marriages are typically based on a deep and close friendship. It is home to mutual respect and understanding to take advantage of the joint moments. It is known that the other man prefers his dressing on the side salad. You play into their partner's favorite video of him unexpectedly had to work late. You feel just each other, both superficially and deeply. Some "quick-fixes" are not. That the intimate daily contact has been lost can not be compensated by an occasional hotel weekend in Paris.

Start taking responsibility for your own communications and make sure that your message goes out as desired. Here we present communication aid "the assertive approach" that can help those who want to stop fighting!

The technology is based on taking responsibility for their own communication and ensures that even the message goes out as desired. Assertion derived from the Latin "assertio" - I argue. But you can not say things in a straight, firm and assertivt way, if you do not have self confidence and the ability to set boundaries, which in turn is based on actually feel their personal rights. We understand that you have the right to make demands, even in the relationship, but want to do it in a way that does not violate the other.

This is done in several steps:

1) Decide what you want to say, for example, "I want more confirmation of my relationship or I want my ex back".

2) Feel what you feel. "When I do not receive confirmation, I am not sure of the love between us, I get annoyed and sad, but most of all worried about our future."

3) Say it. Express both what you want and what you feel. Be clear and straight, neither aggressive or submissive.

4) Reflect the other person's response to your desire. "Yes, I understand that you've had a lot to you recently and have not had much time for us. I have seen in you that you seem to be stressed and tired and thought that it must be hard for you ... "

5) Repeat what you want to say "... but I still feel that I want us to arrive at the solution on how we can confirm each other better."


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