There are fundamental differences between men and women. That's well known and well documented. You need to put yourself in the mindset of your ex in order to have a chance to get him back. Men and women do have one thing in common, though - they both value and appreciate the same parts of a budding relationship - the fire between two people, the initial spark and especially the chase.

Think back to how great the beginning stages of your relationship were. You were mutually chasing each other - playing the game of give and take that both partners enjoy. It connects you and brings you closer together. But eventually, the chase was over and you caught each other. The chase was over, and the real part of your relationship could begin.

After the chase is over, the routine starts to set in. This isn't a bad thing necessarily, but it's not what most couples would call the exciting part of their relationship. You get used to being around each other and sharing each other's company. The unknown is gone, and you start to get comfortable. It's easy to allow yourself to get bored with the more mundane parts of your relationship - even the healthiest couples do. The quirks that you used to find cute and charming in your mate often start grating on your nerves. It's easy to let your guard down enough to begin to be annoyed by the little things that didn't seem to matter during the chase.

In order to successfully get your ex back, you need to make him chase you again. Even if he's the one that ended the relationship, this step isn't as hard as it may seem. It involves a steady and carefully constructed combination of withdrawal and interest. You're reinstating the chase and making things the way it was. You're not only putting yourself back into his thoughts, but you're avoiding giving him all the answers. He will feel the need to satisfy his growing curiosity about you. He will start thinking about you more often, start looking for you and even start missing you.

Your ex hasn't managed to get away so easily. All the feelings he had for you are still there, underneath the surface. They're simply buried under a lot of other things, including the decision to break up and his intention to stick to his guns. If you can bring all these feelings back up to the forefront of his mind, he can easily regain the mindset of wanting to be with you again.

Running after him won't accomplish your goals - it's much better to get him to chase you instead. Chasing after him at this point will only make him run in the opposite direction. Stop making those phone calls, the endless text messages and rambling emails. Once you stop chasing him, it will be natural for him to turn around and wonder where you went. He will stop trying to avoid you and his curiosity of you will grow the more you are able to keep away.

His thoughts will start to wander. What are you doing right now? What happened? Why aren't you chasing him anymore? Does that mean you're not interested? If he starts to think that you could have moved on, his curiosity will be piqued. The more time that passes, the more curious he will become. Are you finally over him and the relationship? Does that mean that you're seeing someone else?

Even if your ex isn't ready to take back the breakup like it never happened, he's still want to know what's going on with you. Talk to any mutual friends or family members and make sure that they don't discuss you with him. Don't go to places where you know he's likely to be. Don't let him hear about you through the grapevine and steer clear of him at all costs. You want to have the effect of disappearing off of his radar. The more effectively you can pull this off, the more he will start to wonder. His ego will receive a blow that will be difficult for him to handle. You're taking the power back for yourself. He'll start to get the hint that maybe he's not as in control as he thought he was.

Over time, his curiosity will grow and it won't be hidden anymore. He won't simply wonder about you before carrying on with his day - he'll make an active effort to find out the answer. He'll go to your friends first, or even your family. When they aren't willing to give him the answers, he may try to casually email you. Expect any contact to be full of small-talk or even a made up excuse to justify making contact. This step is absolutely crucial if you want to get him back - don't answer his email. As hard as he may be, keep your end goal in mind. You want him to call you. A text or email just isn't good enough.

Make sure you're well prepared when you finally do get that phone call that you've been hoping for. Know what you're going to say and how you're going to react. You need to make all the right moves at all the right times, and it's vital for you to avoid making these mistakes that can ruin your chances for good. Getting your ex to call you is a good first step, but you're still a long way away from starting a relationship again.

Next Steps

It's vital for you to learn why the "no contact" policy is the best option for increasing your chances to get him back. You have to understand when to make contact, and how that contact should be. You have to make sure to give him an adequate amount of space to process his own feelings before you can approach him. He may not be willing to talk to you for awhile, and that's okay. In fact, it's probably best for both of you. Breakups take their toll on both parties involved, regardless of who's at fault.

After you get him to call you, you need to focus on making him want you back. If he isn't interested or doesn't feel any desire for you anymore, getting him back isn't going to work. You need to create a desire again in his mind, and he needs to see you as a potential girlfriend again. Learning those tips and tricks isn't as difficult as it seems. They're relatively easy to master and can pay off big time in the long run.