This Article is About
blame game
million things
defense mechanism
infidelity
feelings
one thing
relationships
relationship
heart
love
Realizing Our Mistakes
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

What can I do to get my ex back? There are a million things that go through your mind once a break up has occurred and one of the first feelings that emerge is that of blame. Ahh the blame game…it’s a natural reaction, not unlike a defense mechanism. But it is one of the most destructive forces there is when it comes to relationships.

It is so much easier to place blame than to accept it, but when you step back and take a good hard look at what caused the breakup to begin with, if you are honest with yourself, you know in your heart that a certain amount of blame needs to go to both sides. Besides infidelity there is no one thing that breaks up a relationship. It is almost always a combination of things; it may start out as something small and then like an untreated cut, it can fester and become infected until finally something has to done.

Once a breakup has occurred the first thing that has to happen is a break in communication as I have stated previously. It will give both of you a chance to catch your breath and step back and re-evaluate the situation. Once this done then you can decide if you are still in love with her or is it time to move on. If the answer is “still in love” then you have to find out if the feeling is mutual because if it’s not, you’ll just be spinning your wheels.

OK let’s say the feeling is mutual, now what? Well, first of all you have to play things cool. Chances are that she is missing you as much as you are her and if that’s the case it can only help your cause. You have to get the lines of communication back open but not be too obvious about it. You can play a little hard to get, but don’t go overboard with it. Let her think that you are getting along just fine without her (whether it’s true or not).

This should get her to re-think why the two of you split up to begin with and if you are acting like your old self then maybe she will remember the reasons she fell in love with you in the first place. Just act naturally, don’t get too pushy or assertive and let things take their course. But don’t forget what caused the breakup to begin with so the same mistakes aren’t repeated. If you both have learned from your mistakes there is no reason the relationship can’t be renewed, and be stronger than ever.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Super Committee Fails: Finger Pointing And the Blame Game Begins
Congress failed to come to a reasonable agreement and almost caused the government to cosaid that it me to a grinding halt earlier this year. To avert that from happening, a so called "super committee" a bipartisan group was formed, tasked with coming up with a working plan that could…
By: amie nogrady in  News and Society  >  Economics   Nov 22, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Stop The Blame Game! Take Action!
The game of love, it is said, is one that most people play and love to play. But, I believe there is an even more popular game that we all play, at some point in our lives. It is called the blame game. For many persons there is an over…
By: DiParco in  Self Improvement  >  Positive Attitude   Jul 20, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Wife Hates Me – How Do I Get My Marriage Back to Where We Used to Be?
If you’re in a marriage where you’re saying or thinking my wife hates me, then you’re probably wondering what’s going to happen to your marriage.At this point, in your mind, you’re probably thinking that it means eminent failure.But the truth is that you can turn this around, if you just…
By: Jason Nelson in  Relationships  >  Marriage   Nov 01, 2011  
0
  Likes: 15

Life After Infidelity - Can it Ever Be Right Again?
Your spouse has had an affair. With infidelity in your marriage, can your life after infidelity ever be right again? Infidelity in a relationship commonly occurs when there are some major problems in the relationship, after infidelity, it can be very difficult to face these problems and try to rebuild…
By: Elaine Roger in  Relationships  >  Marriage   May 01, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend – The First Reconnect
The time has come to get back your ex girlfriend and you are both excited and nervous. The reality is that this could be your one last chance at getting her back and you are ready to show her how you have made a real effort to change. “Life is…
By: Norm Sjodin in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 14, 2012  
1
  Likes: 1

He Doesn't Want To Get Back Together - Real Reasons
If you're completely lost when it comes to the rationality behind why he doesn't want to get back together, you're not alone. A lot of women are caught completely unaware in an unexpected breakup and don't know which path to take in order to try and get an ex back.…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Oct 28, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Avoiding A Break Up
At times it may seem very difficult to prevent a break up; if you don't, you may find yourself trying to figure out how to get your ex girlfriend back. I want to share with everyone an important lesson that I have learned about my relationship..... Once you are with…
By: J.M. Shoar in  Relationships  >  Dating   Jan 10, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Come Back Stronger Than Ever After Infidelity?
If a relationship has reached to the point of infidelity, it can’t remain a relationship. People break up most of times due to infidelity. However, cheating on a spouse is a far bigger than infidelity alone. After infidelity, you should not focus on cheating on your ex to get them…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 28, 2012  
4
  Likes: 1

How Can I Make My Boyfriend Want Me Back?
You have just started a relationship and barely three months into it, things are not moving in the direction you expected. Eventually your boyfriend calls it quit. What do you do? Do you start crying, fuming and fretting all over? Do you feel that desperate, to the brink of hanging…
By: G.M. Bevan in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 24, 2012  
15
  Likes: 1

Blaming Boomers
“He did it!” The blame game…we all play…we all take turns in being the accuser and the accused…but in this game…we’ll blame the Baby Boomers. Surely over 76,000,000 people have brought many woes to our world and will leave it worse than what they found it, or were born into.…
By: Rick Jantz in  Home and Family  >  Baby Boomer   Mar 21, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

Moving On From a Divorce – Spoil Yourself Guilt Free
Moving on from a divorce is not difficult provided that you have self-confidence and empathy for your former spouse. Often we tend to harbor negative feelings for our spouse and we begin playing the blame game. All of our pain and anger is directed at them without addressing our own…
By: Jeff Waltin in  Relationships  >  Divorce   Feb 01, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

8 Ways To Get Him To Beg You To Take Him Back
You have just experienced a breakup and are most likely grieving for the lost relationship you had with your ex. You and everyone else in your social circle thought this was it. At the moment the thought of ways to get him back are passing through your mind. I'm about…
By: Garry2 in  Relationships   Dec 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Starting A Small Home Based Business
It sure is tough out there; I mean getting a job can be a nightmare today. Even tougher if you are retired or about to retire, in other words as you get older most employers say no thanks. Unless you have a lot of experience or do something that is…
By: Tim Bashista in  Home Based Business   Aug 15, 2012  
4
  Likes: 5

Herbs for stress and anxiety. Does it work?
I recently read a short but interesting article on the effects of herbal supplements on stress, called The Truth About Herbal Supplements for Stress.The writer's conclusion was that some herbal supplements help with stress or anxiety short term, but there are no real evidence saying that they will help in…
By: Anne Linn in  Self Improvement  >  Stress Management   Nov 10, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Be Your Own Critic
How many times you write something and ask other people to read it and tell you what they think. That is a great strategy of quality writing sorting, right? Well, yes if the those doing the proof read is honest enough to tell you the truth. When we ask friends…
By: Yessy Rigg Suarez in  Writing and Speaking  >  Writing   Jun 06, 2012  
5
  Likes: 2

Article Views: 1311    Report this Article