A lot of relationship advice out there will tell you to “be the better man” and “look at the ways you went wrong in your relationship so you can discuss those with her”, when you're trying to get your ex girlfriend back. That's great advice, but HOW?! The problem with many “get my ex girlfriend back” guides is that they don't address the actual process of getting her back into your life after a messy breakup.

There are actually specific steps you can take to do this, and you can do it in different ways. But it will basically involve what I call the “acceptance note”, where you recognize your girlfriend's decision to break up and you tell her you accept it and enjoyed your time together. Sending her this note is an important first step in getting her back from another guy, as you will be starting things off of a positive note rather than trying to rehash the pain from your breakup.

After you have done this step, you will actually have initiated contact with your girlfriend in an appropriate manner that will work in your favor towards getting her back, because you are approaching the breakup not with anger and finger-pointing, but instead from a position of kindness, allowing your relationship to continue on a new and hopefully better path.

From here, you'll mostly expect your ex girlfriend to contact you again, and if she does, that is ideal. However if she doesn't, that's okay too; you can simply wait a bit, then ask her for coffee or something – a very low key thing, just to clear the air. If you have followed the instructions in an appropriate ex girlfriend guide that shows you exactly how to get your girl back from another guy, you should be ready at this point to succeed in getting her back.

It is also important as part of the process to get her back that you really take time to focus on yourself and your own wants and needs. There are two people in a relationship: you, and her. And since you are one of those people, you need to take care of YOU, too! Remember that being healthy and happy by nurturing your interests is a great way to keep a relationship healthy, as long as your partner is doing her share of the work as well. You can improve your health by keeping a balanced life of hobbies, work, and play, and eating a good diet while getting regular exercise (especially in a favorite sport, for example).