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Should I Make My Ex Jealous? - The Pitfalls
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Should I Make My Ex Jealous?  -  The Pitfalls

There is no easy way to overcome a breakup and completely turn the tables on the process by winning back your ex's heart. There's no guidebook that's guaranteed to win in every scenario. If there were, you would already be well on your way, and you wouldn't need to search for answers online. The fact of the matter is that you obviously have no control over your ex's choices or actions. If you did, they never would have broken up with you at all. Now is the time to focus on the one thing you do have control over in this situation - and that's yourself. You can act in a manner that is going to promote your end goal, or you can destroy it completely. The choice is entirely up to you, although sticking to it may be more difficult than you were prepared for.

It's often easy to go for the first, knee-jerk reaction that comes to mind. You want a solution and waiting for one is often more difficult than getting out there and doing something about it. The problem with impulsiveness in these emotionally charged circumstances is that it's often out of control.

You may realize that your plan is simply set up to backfire if you charge in with guns blazing, expecting a miracle. You can't simply act and cross your fingers that everything will work out. You have to lay a carefully crafted plan - and patiently stick to it, even if the waiting feels like it's going to rip you apart. Jealousy is one of those impulses that often becomes a go-to response in the wake of a breakup. Thinking that making an ex jealous will automatically get them to come running back to you isn't exactly untrue - but it isn't exactly positive either. If you're going to turn to jealousy to regain your ex's attention, make sure you use it sparingly - and make sure that you're not going to be caught in the crossfire.

A lot of people make a critical mistake here. They jump into a new relationship or start dating a bunch of new people because they know that they'll make an ex go crazy with jealousy in the process. They're right - their ex will get jealous - but they're not going to want you back again because of it. In fact, as soon as it becomes obvious that you're only dating to create that sense of jealousy, they're going to want nothing to do with you, and you can kiss any hope of a renewed relationship goodbye. The best way to ruin your chances entirely is to try and force them to come into play. You've got to learn some patience - and manipulating your ex or another person is not the way you're going to win out in the end.

Bluntly put, jealousy in small doses is fine, if you use it correctly. You should never ever resort to pulling another person into a jealousy game just to force your ex's hand, however. The person you're using won't like it. Your ex won't like it, and they will figure out the truth. Ultimately, you won't like it either. You'll be alone and out of chances and be even worse off than you are now because of it.

If you do decide to start dating, make sure that you're making that decision intelligently - and not just on the spur of the moment. There is another person involved that has to be considered, and they had nothing to do with you, your ex or your breakup. If you're simply using them to get back at someone else, you're in for a lot more pain in the long run than you're in now - and it should simply not be something that you're willing to toy with in order to get your way.

Think of jealousy as a battery cable that is capable of bringing to life an otherwise dead engine. It's a last-ditch life support system when everything else has produced nothing but smoke. As such, it's necessary to recognize that it's effective over time, and it doesn't have to be used immediately in order to have a result.

Before you jump on the jealousy bandwagon, make sure that you've carefully weighed and considered all of your other options. Jealousy is NEVER the first step to take to win back your ex, and it's not something that can be used immediately following a breakup as a magic "fix it" to the end of your relationship. Used in moderation and as a last resort, however, can bring about positive change quickly - but only after all your other realistic attempts (and not simply wishing it to happen) have come up empty.

What To Do Next

Being dumped is a difficult process to go through and we often hit out at our ex's with jealousy to get a reaction from them. This is not a good idea if you want to get them back however. There are better ways to do this and they are grounded in human psychological principals. First you have to ensure that you are not making any common break up mistakes as these things will have your ex running for the hills!

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