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What most people in your position fail to either recognize or believe is that it's possible to overcome practically any breakup. If you're willing to put in the time and effort, there's a good chance that your patience will pay off in the end - but the choice is ultimately up to you. It's certainly not a simple process - nor is it one that can be accomplished overnight with a few magic words. Before you can make the right moves and know what to say (and when to say it), you have to learn to recognize your ex's emotions towards you and that is ironically one of the hardest parts of the process to master.
Recognizing and interpreting these signs is a crucial part of the process for several reasons. One of the most compelling reasons is because of how recognizing emotion within your ex makes you feel. Relationships easily exemplify the worst emotions possible and they drop you head-first into the pit of despair without a ladder. Recognizing your ex's feelings can provide you with just enough hope to fuel your tank in order to keep going - even when all other hope seems lost. Additionally, your ex may not realize that their "signals" are not exactly clear. If they're giving these signs off intentionally and you don't do anything about it, there's a good chance that your golden opportunity just went flying out of the window - and it may not come back.
- They Talk to You Differently Suddenly
Your ex's behavior took a drastic change for the worse when they first broke up with you. It was heartbreaking to see the person that you once shared such an intimate, close connection with treat you virtually like a stranger. Just when you thought you were starting to get used to the new reality, however, things did another abrupt 180.
If your ex turns from a cold and distant figurine into the warm and compassionate person that you recognize from the days of your relationship, it is safe to say that something has taken a drastic turn - but this time the change is in your favor. If your ex is now treating you much better than you have experienced in the recent past, it's a positive sign that they may be seeing you as a renewed partner, and they're warming up to the idea of a renewed and revitalized relationship.
- Your Ex is Dropping Random Dating Comments Towards You
You don't know how to react when your ex brings up getting back together - and then makes a joke about it. It's hard to not take it personally, since it's your greatest dream, and one that you've been working so hard to make a reality. Instead of jumping the gun and assuming that your ex is simply making a mockery of your efforts, realize where those jokes are coming from. It's more common than you'd think for your ex to make jokes with an underlying serious inquiry in mind. They want to see if you'll just blow it off or appear uninterested. They want to see if you'll jump on the bandwagon and run with it - if so, they know that they have an upper hand. Your best bet is to play it by ear. Don't move too far towards any reaction - just keep the middle ground, keep your ex guessing and keep your options wide open.
- They're Asking to Spend Time with You
When your ex first suggested that the two of you get together to talk, your nerves went through the roof. Seeing your ex in person is a lot differently than exchanging texts back and forth. It's a lot more personal - and that's precisely why your ex is interested in taking things to the next level. Impersonal contact just isn't enough for them anymore. They need something more concrete. If they're asking to get together, it's a sign that they're looking to get an idea of where you stand - whether you're open to the idea of getting back together, or whether you're starting to move on and leave the relationship behind you.
Try to stay calm in the face of extreme anxiety. Getting hyper-nervous is going to do nothing to keep things moving forward in a positive direction. You'll want to calm yourself prior to encountering them in person - despite how hard it may seem to do. Breathe deeply. Remind yourself that it's a simple meeting for coffee, and while there's a lot riding on this meeting, it's not the end all be all of getting back together. Try to keep your wits about you as best as possible and don't worry about the outcome at this particular moment. Replaying the meeting can all come later on. Right now it's simply not that important.
- They Want to Know about your Love Life
A lot of times after a breakup, if your ex is keeping communication going, it's because they want to turn you into a safety net of sorts. Being someone's parachute isn't exactly ideal, but when you consider the reasoning behind it, it starts to make a lot more sense. As long as your ex has a handle on where you are and what you're up to, they can gauge their chances of getting you back if they decide that's the course of action that they want to explore further. When they know that they can easily turn the tables and get you back without a question, they don't feel like they're risking anything by keeping the breakup going. You're actually enabling them to stay away indefinitely.
Keeping you around does not automatically indicate that they're ready to chuck the breakup out of the window and immediately get back together. When they start asking you questions about your current situation, however, things have started to change. If they want to know if you've been seeing someone else, or if you're up to dating, they've definitely got something else in mind. They aren't ready for you to move on - not by a long shot. If you're putting yourself out there and accepting dates with other people, you're less likely to consider a reconciliation - which puts their safety net in danger. While they may not be willing to act immediately, they're not completely ready to kiss your relationship goodbye for good.
What's Next?
Knowing the signs your ex wants you is only part of the puzzle. You now need a plan of action to encourage your ex to see you as a potential partner again. First step is to make sure that you avoid these break up mistakes. Most of us have no clue that we are doing anything wrong here. Trouble is that your ex sees it very differently. Get your behaviour in check and you will soon see a change in how your ex reacts to you.
To win your ex back you also need to know about contact. Contact with your ex is a huge part of the process and can either make or break a reunion. Knowing when to contact them, what to say and how your ex will view your interactions with them is vital for you.
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