What actually WORKS to get your ex back is no contact.

Instigating a no contact period tells your ex the ONE THING they need to know to hook their interest in you... which is that you DON'T CARE.

It has been said that "he who cares least in a relationship has the most power."

Well, it's true. Odd, but maybe it's just one of those quirks of the human psyche.

It's that old thing that says, "the harder you try to get something, the harder it is to attain." This doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to get your ex. It just means you need to shift your focus.

Change your focus from the outcome of getting your ex to the outcome of becoming a highly attractive person.

Change your focus from what your ex thinks to what you think.

Focus on becoming the strongest, smartest, sexiest person you can be. Become attractive - and then, your ex will notice. It's from doing the things you really love to do, keeping a healthy body and mind, and taking pleasure in life's smallest things that we become truly attractive.

What is this true attractiveness? Self-confidence.

Self-confidence radiates from a person. Approaching all situations with self-confidence brings success. Other people can smell it. We have built in "self-confidence sensors" in our brains that tell us, wow, this person knows what she's doing. She knows what she wants. I'm attracted to that!

So if your ex sees that you're becoming confident, he will gravitate toward you.

Now why is no contact so important? Because it gives you the chance you need to BECOME self confident.

Think of it this way: if you're constantly worrying about what your ex is thinking and doing, how can you possibly focus on yourself? How can you go after what you want when you're so concerned about what he wants?

Well, you can't. Thus, you need no contact.

(In addition, the no contact rule also builds curiosity from your ex's side because he'll want to know WHY you aren't contacting him. He'll have expected you to.)

Aim for 30 days of time away from him. More, if you need it. Remember, the goal is for you to become attractive and self-confident so that when the time comes to break no contact, it won't even be a big deal.

Your happiness is not dependent on your ex or anyone else. You are the one who controls how happy you are by surrounding yourself with people and things you love.

Tip:

Want an immediate boost of self-confidence? Do a quick but vigorous workout. Don't even bother with the gym: just grab a pair of running shoes and go for a quick run around your neighborhood. Or, go for a brisk walk around your neighborhood if you aren't into running.