How many times have you caught yourself wishing that you could magically make the breakup disappear? You think that if you close your eyes tight enough, you can take back the last few hours and make him change his mind. Maybe if you text him or call him with every argument under the sun against his reasons for leaving, something will work out. You're going about this process in the wrong way - be careful or your greatest wish could backfire and scare your ex off for good.

Your moves over the next few weeks are going to be instrumental to your final result. If you're certain that you want your ex back, the process is going to take a lot of effort - but it's worth it for the payoff. Know that all your choices will have rewards or consequences, and you don't want to get trapped in a mistake. Instead of rushing towards the first possible solution, do yourself (and your ex) a favor and weigh out your options. You may be surprised at how well a carefully thought-out plan can work.

Immediate Plan of Action

With every hour that passes you feel your chance to get your ex back slipping through your fingers. You know that he's not biding his time just waiting to give you another chance - he's out there living his life. That means that the door is open for another woman to come in and take your place, right? Not necessarily. In order for your efforts to pay off, you need to use your brain and not your heart. Rushing into action without thinking things through may make an already bad situation worse - and that's the last thing you want.

Breakups are emotionally challenging, difficult periods for everyone and many women fall into common yet fatal traps. They act impulsively and rush to action before considering the consequences. That's why you need to be particularly careful at this time more than any other. You need to think about more than just what you want to accomplish. You also need to consider how your efforts are going to come across to your ex and his possible reactions to them.

Talking to your ex-boyfriend is all you can think about, but now is not the time to do it. You can't rush into contact and expect a favorable result. After all, he decided to end the relationship in the first place. Guys need to deal with their feelings too, despite the things that they've said or done. This time should be spent focusing on you and getting all your plans in order. That way, when the time is right you can take immediate action - and that action will be met a lot more favorably than it would if you jumped the gun now.

Just because you have to take the time to think carefully and rationally about what moves to make doesn't mean that there aren't tips or tricks that can be put into action quickly.

One of the first things you need to do is to stop letting him see how upset you are over his decision to leave. If you fought tooth and nail against the breakup to begin with he knows that you're still hung up over him and you're in no position to move on with your life without him. That means that he still has the upper hand. He's keeping you in reserve as a backup plan in case the single world doesn't offer him what he's expecting. As long as he knows that you're not over your former relationship, he won't see a reason to reconsider. You want to give him one - a big one - by showing him that his sense of security may not be as secure as he believed.

Ways to Increase His Interest

Absence does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. A lot of women errantly believe that if they drop off of their ex-boyfriend's radar he'll forget about them entirely and this is absolutely incorrect. Once you disappear from sight your ex-boyfriend will start to miss you. Once he misses you, he will be more open to thinking about getting back together - but you have to drop out of sight before any of that can happen.

You weren't able to do anything to change your ex's mind when he decided to leave. Your continued efforts since then have fallen on deaf ears. The best thing you can do now is to stop. Don't pursue him anymore and don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you're still in love with him. You want him to see that you're moving on (even though you're not). But you're putting up a brave face and he's going to come to see that as something that should be respected.

You need to make your ex reconsider the situation and that means fostering his underlying doubt. The good news is that this is a relatively easy process. Once you've removed yourself successfully, he's going to start to question things that he never previously considered. What if you're really moving on? What if you're totally okay with the way things played out despite your initial reaction and you're ready to start over again. What if you've already started dating someone new? The last thing your ex expected was to have to watch you move forward with someone else.

If you can get your ex to start doubting things overall, you have him where you want him. If he's realizing that losing you for good was not a part of his game plan, he's going to need to do something to get you back before you can move too far away. He was never planning on having to chase you again, but that's exactly what's happening. You're simply bringing his own questions to light and forcing him to acknowledge possibilities that he never wanted to face.

His Emotions Didn't Vanish at the Breakup

If you think you're the only one still wrapped up in all your old feelings, you're not. It's easy to be mistaken since he's been acting so distant but guys handle situations differently than their female counterparts. This could just be his way of handling conflicting emotions. It doesn't mean for a second that those feelings just disappeared.

Since you know that those feelings are still there, you can bring them to light without cluing him in to your master plan. Start to bring up some of the good times the two of you shared in passing. Those thoughts will come back up once you're gone and he'll start recognizing the positive parts of the time you spent together. This can go a long way towards getting him back and an eventual reconciliation that will benefit you both.

That is one of the reasons why having a definitive plan in place is so important. Like any other skill you learn, getting back together with an ex takes time, determination and knowledge. If you prepare yourself in advance rather than just do whatever comes to mind in any given moment, you can set yourself up to succeed without pushing him into it that risks pushing him away.

Your Next Steps

If your ex boyfriend is not showing any interest in you at the moment, you need to find a way to bring out his real feelings and quickly. He could just be an expert at pretending that he is fine in front of you. This is why you should think about making your ex boyfriend jealous. This does not have to involve any underhand or hurtful tactics though, you can do it subtlety to achieve effective results.

Another excellent way of making him want you back is by creating a void in his life. The best way to achieve this is to take a step back and make him miss you. You will soon see him making an effort with you again once he realises what he has lost.