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*Avoiding Behaviors That Can Push Your Ex Away
It can be a complicated process when you are trying to win back your ex boyfriend, especially in cases where he was the one to break up with you. However, don't lose heart, because there are ways to set things right. It's all about knowing the right moves to make. Even more importantly, it's about avoiding making the wrong moves that can send him packing. Read on to learn all about common mistakes many women make when attempting to woo their man back.
When it comes to getting your man's attention back, live by the motto of "less is more". If you plan to get back with your ex boyfriend, you need to tread lightly after the breakup. If you want him to want you back again, pay special attention to the things you do and say. Pay particular attention to the things you don't do. Your actions and words will be under close scrutiny from your ex at this time, so try to avoid the following big blunders women often make.
*Avoid Too Much Contact
Many women who have just been "dumped" react by desperately trying to remain in contact with their ex. This is a huge mistake. Even if he's told you those dreaded words "Let's be friends", this does not mean he wants to hear from you all the time. Do not call, email, text, or see him in person. Have you ever heard the phrase "I can't miss you if you won't go away?". This applies here. By laying low and disappearing from his life for awhile, he is going to begin to wonder what's up. Allow him time to miss you and begin to seek out information on your whereabouts. Exhibiting acceptance of the break up will not only allow you to keep your pride intact, it will make him question himself and why you're not crying over him or pursuing him.
* I Love You, I Love You, I Love You
Ugh! The three little words that can really make you look desperate and pathetic at this crucial time. Sure, this is likely all you're thinking about right now, how much you love and miss him, but seriously, this is not the time to share this information with him. You've probably told him this many times during your relationship already, so save these precious words for the time when you're trying to reconcile your relationship.
These words will not have a positive effect on your ex right now, and he may find them annoying. Plus, you should not allow your emotions to be laid out in the open right now. You're vulnerable, and you shouldn't put your fragile emotions out there to give him the opportunity to stomp all over him. Don't give him this power over you either. Keep your feelings to yourself or discuss them with a friend if you need to express yourself.If you're one who didn't express their feelings during the relationship, it's a bit late to do so now. Again, save this for a more appropriate time.
*No Crying And Begging
Guilt tripping your ex is no way to make him come back to you. Although he may offer you a bit of comfort, you need to stop and think if he is only giving you this attention out of pity. You should not lower yourself to begging either, you are better than that and deserve more. Doing the crying and begging routine will also cause the guy to have less respect for you and can make him feel awkward in your presence. He is not going to like the guilt your tears imply, and he may deliberately avoid you in order to avoid these uncomfortable outbursts. This could actually sabotage any chances you might have of winning him back.Try to make the break as clean as possible and avoid the drama.
* Don't Give Deadlines or Ultimatums
Try to avoid saying things out of anger. Remember, this guy dropped you, so why would he listen to or obey demands from you? This type of behavior only serves to make you appear foolish, needy, and desperate. These are not appealing qualities to present to any man, let alone someone you are trying to win back. Keep your self respect in tact by not resorting to any of these behaviors.
Keep in mind that if you do try to impose deadlines or ultimatums on your ex, this will most likely backfire on you and come back to bite you in the behind. Also, please avoid any type of threats. You do not have the right to threaten this guy just because he broke up with you, and you could get yourself in a lot of trouble in the process, so please refrain. Besides, the threats don't work anyway and will make him angry while at the same time putting you in a not so favorable light. You want to present yourself in a positive light, not come off as his ex psycho nutcase girlfriend.
* Don't Send Your Friends To Do Your Dirty Work
Do not bring third parties into your plan of getting back with your ex. Your relationship was between the two of you, as any potential reconciliation should be. If you intentionally send your friends to talk to him or show up wherever he is to check up on him, not only is this pretty obvious, but rather annoying. This can lead to resentment on his part.
Not only is having your friend talk to him a bad idea, it's unfair to the friend because he/she probably has no idea what to really say. This can lead to a lot of unnecessary miscommunication and ultimately lead to even more problems than you originally started with. The friend could unintentionally make the situation worse. As you can see, this can not only make things awkward between you and your ex, but between you and your friends too.
Don't allow your breakup with your man to come between you and your friends too. You are going to need their love and support more than ever now, so keep the two separate. This also eliminates the uneasiness of having your friends and boyfriend in the same space if and when you actually do reconcile.
Your Next Steps
Now that you understand some of the things that you shouldn't be doing after your breakup, it is time to read up on the things that will make him want you back and get him to come running after you again.
There is more to this than meets the eye though, for a start you will have to understand why he left you in the first place. This will be a real eye opener into male and female dynamics. You can't start on the road of reconciliation before understanding what went wrong in your previous relationship.
You are also probably curious to learn if he still has any feelings for you at all. Truth be told, there are little know signs he still loves you, as much as he doesn't want you to be able to read his body language, he will not be able to help exhibiting these clues.
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