This Article is About
vicious circle
best solution
how to get back your ex
doubt
relationship
To Get Back With Your Ex
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

To Get Back With Your Ex

To succeed in getting back your ex is actually not always the best solution. Although it feels so right now you have to ask yourself one important question.

Should you try to get back your ex or not?

I can guess that your answer is YES at the moment as you read this. But it may be that somewhere inside of you so there is some doubt. A bothersome feeling of uncertainty and doubt in the matter of getting back together with your ex. You might simply feel very ambivalent and unsure of how you want to do.

Therefore, I will help you with this. It is very important that you decide and be sure of what to do. If you are uncertain and do not really know what you want, then you are most likely to fail to get back your ex. It will also take longer and be more painful to get over your ex and start feeling better again. It becomes a vicious circle from that in one moment trying to get back your ex and the next moment try to forget.

It is only when you take a decision and decide what to do as you get control of your life. Only then you will increase your chances of success.

People sometimes think that just because I have written articles on how to get back your ex, I take it for granted that everyone who visits my page will try to get back their ex. I definitely think not all people will try to regain their own when their relationship has ended. I just want your best and that means you do what is best for you ... and for some people it is not to get along with her ex again. But for others it can definitely be best to try again because some people are suited for each other. Then it can really only needed a little work to get a wonderful and healthy relationship.

But for you to decide so I thought I put some questions to you. Try to answer as objectively as possible on these issues.

First consider the positive things that outweigh the negative in your previous relationship.

To answer this question so you can sit down and make a list of all the negative things from your relationship. Then make a list of all the positive things. Try to be as honest as possible.

This will make you easier to see how your relationship really was. Although it can be difficult to make an objective assessment as it currently may be many emotions involved, but try to do your best.

This will get you to see if your relationship is worth fighting for or not. You will be able to see the positive things outweigh the negative, which is important because you have to try to see past your desperate feelings that says: "I just have to get back my ex ." These feelings can only see what would feel best for you right now and not what is a healthy and long lasting relationship.

All too often people make out to later get back together for all the wrong reasons. These false reasons may include that:

- Feeling lonely.

- Is the fear of the unknown.

- Lack of safety and security of having a relationship.

- Are afraid of not finding anyone else.

- Is afraid to be alone.

One should not confuse these feelings with the sense to really love someone. Often people get back together because of these reasons for a few years later face reality and then take the relationship ended. Would not it be better to spend those years with someone you really love? Do not make this mistake!

So if you can not answer honestly and with certainty YES to this question, this is a great proof that you should NOT try to get back your ex. It also shows that you probably just want to get back your ex because of some "wrong reason" that is not healthy for you. No man is perfect but if you can not find more positive things than negative, this is not the relationship worth fighting for.

2nd If you do this because you can not get back your ex?

We humans want what we can not get, it is in our nature. "The grass is always greener on the other side." We want what is just beyond what we can get, be it good or bad for us.

So you must ask yourself if you want back your ex just because you can not get back to her / him. You must therefore assume that you feel a loss and that it is only natural to feel that way, whether your relationship was good or bad.

This may not be the only reason why you want to get back your ex, but in all probability, this is one of the reasons. So think about why you really want your ex back and take into account that we humans want what we can not get and that this affects your emotions. If you are aware of this so you can better judge whether it is worthwhile to get back your ex or if it is just your desperate feelings that want to get back her / him.

3rd What was good about your ex?

Some answers may emerge this is such smart, attractive, handsome, kind, successful ... rich and so on. BUT do these "good" properties that match up? No! So what was it that made your ex fit so well for you?

4th Think you can find someone else with the same good qualities that your ex and your ex WITHOUT bad qualities?

I have no doubt that your ex has / had good qualities. That was probably why you once fell for her / him. So what determines if you'll try to get back your ex or not depends on their negative qualities.

It is therefore important that you consider and understand that it's singles "out there" in your age group that has all these great qualities and who may also not have the bad qualities that your ex has. It may be helpful to realize that there are other people "out there" at least as good as your ex. This can help you to stop thinking that you have to get back your ex just because, "She / he is the only one for me and I'll never find someone as good."

5th If you get back together, what will you do to prevent your relationship running out again?

This question is for you to see if there is no solution to the problems that existed in your relationship and if it is even possible to solve these problems.

Moreover, the question for you to think about what it takes to solve the problems. Is there a simple solution, or it will be hard and tough? Will require much time and energy to solve your problems? I mean absolutely no one should give up just because it requires much time and effort to repair a relationship. It can definitely be worth it but I want you to know what you enter in.

6th Do you think your ex is willing to work on your relationship?

You can get back your ex even though it's only you who try and it seems impossible ... but to maintain a good relationship requires that both are willing to work on the relationship. If not, it will be hard for you. The relationship need not end but you will suffer over this. You should not need to make every effort to keep up your relationship. Then you will get a lot of problems and unhappiness often.

If your ex was not willing to work on your relationship before, so there is little chance that she / he will do it if you get back together. This is especially true if it was your ex who broke up with you.

It may take a little work to get a successful relationship but it's definitely worth it if there really is love in the relationship. It will not feel like work because it is about love and it's about a person you truly love.

But as I said before, for me it does not matter if you choose to try to get back your ex or not, the main thing is that you take the decision that is best for you so that you become happy.

So my final question to you is:

- Is it best for you to get back your ex?

If you take the time to go through these questions and respond honestly to them, chances are that now you've decided how you want to do. If through these issues have come to the conclusion that you want to try to get your ex back, it's probably a good choice. Then I think you should continue and do what it takes to get back your ex. But if you still are not sure how you would do, I think you should take away from your ex until you know what you really want.

So after you have answered these questions you need to take a long and serious conversation with yourself. You need to be completely honest with yourself when you decide if the relationship is worth saving or not.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Stress, the Vicious Circle And How to Stop Spinning Your Wheels
Researchers have long debated about stress, including whether good stress exists at all. A recent study has concluded that what is typically deemed "good" stress is better classified as a challenge, one that the body can meet and adapt to or conquer rather than one that influences overall behavior. Also…
By: amie nogrady in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Nov 17, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Make Him Want You Back – 4 Must - know Tips to Remember
Wondering “how to make him want you back?” Many women are full of doubt when trying to get their men back, they vacillate between one method and another not knowing which one will work best for them. They have no idea where to start, what to say and do, and…
By: carthage in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 21, 2013  
0
  Likes: 3

I Need to Know How Much Savings I Need to Retire
Retirement does not look good when you have to ask how much savings to retire. When you are trying to build a retirement by saving money it is possible but very difficult because it is a matter of how much to curtail today's lifestyle to grow tomorrow's. How do I…
By: Samuel Crumpton in  Business  >  Entrepreneurialism   Jun 04, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

A Workaholic Could Be A Person In Need Of Help
What lies behind the working addiction of a workaholic? We could easily say that is not money, because most workaholics keep on working when they are earning enough money to live very well, so there should be another powerful reason for them to keep doing their work until very late…
By: Eddie J. Molina in  Health and Fitness  >  Depression   Jan 13, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Stop Worrying
Life is a mixture of events. Sadness, worries, tragic events and happiness. It is like a chain and one link leads to another. Let us say you have been hit with a tragic event such as losing one of your family members, or losing your job, etc. When you come…
By: Doreen Cardona in  Health and Fitness  >  Emotional Freedom Technique   Jan 22, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Asian Flush - A Practical Way to Find Relief
When they a looking for Asian flush relief, most people assume that the Asian flush is the result of an allergy to alcohol, and that because of this, it should be treated in the same way. This is actually a really bad assumption to make and the Asian flush is…
By: Roderick B in  Health and Fitness   Feb 14, 2013  
2
  Likes: 1

Commitment Issues In Men - Dangers Of Using Ultimatums
It is very common, among women who have been waiting to be proposed marriage for a long period of time, having commitment issues with their partner, to think that the best solution is to present their boyfriend an ultimatum concerning the relationship. If the woman wants badly to be engaged…
By: Valerie W. Wicker in  Relationships  >  Commitment   Sep 24, 2012  
1
  Likes: 5

I Want To Call My Ex Boyfriend - Stop And Think First!
Timing is everything, especially when it comes to getting an ex-boyfriend back. Right now, you don't have the luxury of trial and error. If you make a critical mistake now, you run the risk of scaring him off for good. If you move too slowly, you may miss your window…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Communication   Aug 18, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

How To Get Back Your Ex After A Break Up
Oh, falling in love is so wonderful! Being in a loving relationship is a great place to be. Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact of life that it can end suddenly and with no warning sometimes. Have you recently gone through a breakup, and you are sad because it’s over? The…
By: Lacey Wolf in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jul 01, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

Dream Without Any Doubt! What You Would Do If You Knew You Won’t Fail In Any Case?
Before going for your dream, you should know it is possible for you. Knowing means more than believing; you have to be 100% sure to really see your dream fulfilled. Since 2004 when the famous movie ‘The secret’ was released, people have talked a lot about the law of attraction.…
By: Ancuta Neagu in  Self Improvement  >  Achievement   May 30, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

That weekend was Amazing!
I just spent the most amazing weekend with my wife! I know this might sound strange but ever since my two-year old daughter was born it has basically been a relationship between wife and daughter and me playing the bystander. Don't get me wrong I love my wife and daughter…
By: alstallio in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 08, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back – Consider Couples Counseling
You just got out of a serious relationship. She ended it and you want to win her back. You are probably scratching your head trying to figure out how to get your girlfriend back. You have tried the simple things – chocolate and flowers did not work. She wants more…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 18, 2012  
3
  Likes: 0

Can I Get My Ex - Girlfriend Back?
If you are asking that question, then you obviously have some doubts, and rightfully so. Well you are going to have to ask and answer some tough questions. First of all...have you figured out what caused the breakup to begin with? Was it you...was it her...probably a combination of both...right?…
By: Stbrac1 in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Dec 26, 2011  
15
  Likes: 2

Your Girlfriend Left You - Seven Winning Ideas on How to Get Her Back
Your girlfriend just left you and you are at a loss for what to do next and how to get her back. You want her back, but just are not sure what steps to take to get there. It can be very rough sometimes when a relationship ends before you…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 18, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Five Lessons From Guys Like You – Learn How to Get Your Girlfriend Back
Sometimes the best advice comes from guys who have “been there, done that”. They are the best teachers on how to get your girlfriend back. Here is a collection of the best advice from guys who have learned the hard way what to do and not do. Take this advice…
By: Brad Miller in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jun 16, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 1714    Report this Article