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Why Can't I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back? - Are You Making These Mistakes?
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Why Can\'t I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?  -  Are You Making These Mistakes?

To understand why you can't get your ex boyfriend back, you will have to stop and take a good hard look at yourself and what you have been doing lately. You will have to correct things that your ex boyfriend is finding difficult to cope with and learn to see things from his perspective. Once you can identify what you have been doing wrong, you will not be wondering why you can't get your ex boyfriend back anymore, the reasons will be glaringly obvious.

With that being said, you need to start examining what you have been doing and saying to your ex boyfriend recently. Your ex boyfriend obviously has an issue with something that you have been doing lately, so you need to accept this at face value and figure out what it is. He is unlikely to want to hurt you by telling you, so you will have to put on your detective hat and work it out for yourself.

How Have You Changed Since You First Got Together?

It is more than likely that you have been exhibiting behaviour that you did not at the start of your relationship. Things change and so do people. As you get more comfortable with a person you let certain things go, or the real person comes out. Maybe you were unaware that anything was changing yourself, but your ex boyfriend could probably sense it and it wasn't necessarily attractive.

When you two first started dating you acted differently around him - it is only natural. Maybe you were overly attentive to his feelings and wanted to exude the best aspects of your personality. It is important that you are honest with yourself here. Think back to how different you were then and what attracted your ex boyfriend to you in the first place. Then try to identify what had changed in the weeks and months leading up to your break up. No one is saying that you are entirely to blame for your current set of circumstances, but knowing this stuff will help you to get him back down the road.

The traits below may seem completely out of character for you, but truth be known, we are sometimes unaware of how our behaviour affects others until it is too late. What we see and what other see can sometimes be at odds with each other. If you are guilty of committing any of the mistakes below you will need to STOP NOW before you push him away for good.

Trying To Control Him

You might think that this is the opposite to how you are, but look a little deeper before you dismiss this one out of hand. Men value their freedom just as much as women, sometimes relationships can make them think that they are not their own person anymore as they have to answer to you. If he has to run it by you that he wanted to spend the weekend with friends, or ask you if doing something or other was okay, chances are he feels like he has no freedom. He doesn't want to answer to you, this relegates him to the status of a child.

This type of motherly behaviour could have snuck up on you out of nowhere and soon you were making basic decisions for him. Over time this causes resentment and could have been the deciding factor for your break up. If he thinks that this aspect of your personality hasn't changed he is never going to want to get back together with you no matter how much you plead.

You will have to adjust your need to make decisions or control him and he will need to see this. If you are pestering him to get back together and demanding answers from him, he knows that you are still the same person that he left. He now has his freedom being single and he is not going to give that up without a fight. It is therefore up to you to make these alterations if you want to get him back and make your relationship work.

Excessive Contact - Before And After The Break Up

Maybe you wanted to know what he was up to at every hour of the day? You could have seen this as attentive and caring behaviour, men however think differently. Ever heard of bunny boiler? Alarms will be going off in his head if he has to update you with every move he makes, regale you with the ins and outs of his day and keep you posted on what his plans are for the next day. It just gets too much and they begin to feel like they are being stalked or controlled.

It is so easy nowadays to keep constant tabs on your partner. Social networks, mobile phones, emails etc are all there to make life easier. Sometimes they can do more damage than good. They never really give your partner the chance to miss you or be away from you - subsequently appreciation for you wanes. If you are only the push of a button away it can lead to excessive contact and stimulate way too much romantic and emotional impact on your relationship.

This can also be true after your break up. Are you still texting him and emailing like before? Trying desperately to make sure that he doesn't forget you? If this is the case you are doing the exact opposite of what you want to achieve. He will NEVER miss you if you are always there, albeit in cyber space. Just because you are physically not with your ex boyfriend, it does no mean that he will automatically miss you. The more present you are in his virtual world, the more he will grow tired and bored of you.

This could be the real reason why you can't get your ex boyfriend back. You have taken all of the interest and intrigue away and he feels like there is nothing worth knowing anymore. He has to want you back before you can get him back. This will only happen if you disappear from his radar - he will suddenly wonder where you have gone and will then take an avid interest in you again. Reverse psychology is simple but VERY POWERFUL.

Your Next Steps

These are just two of the possible reasons why you can't get back your ex boyfriend, you will need to know the rest so that you can avoid them and see where he is coming from. Avoiding these post breakup mistakes will garner positive results and you will see a change in the way that your ex boyfriend sees you.

Another vital thing to be aware of is how your ex boyfriend feels about you. He could still love you but still doesn't want to get back together until things change. Look out for the signs he still loves you. This will let you know whether you have a real fighting chance of getting him back.


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