Breaking up is never easy, moreover when you were the one that got dumped. If your ex still remains in contact after the breakup it can be hard to fathom a reason why they would do so. Some couples get into a cycle of breaking up then making up, it is probable that you know at least one couple like this. The thing is, their breakups are never serious, they may part ways for a while but like a pair of magnets they will get drawn together again. If your relationship isn't like that and you have never broken up with your now ex boyfriend/girlfriend before then you are probably wondering why they choose to remain in contact with you.
What does it indicate when your ex keeps calling you after the breakup? do they want to talk about something in particular in regard to the breakup, i.e who gets the tv, dvds, etc?.. Or do they just umm, aah and beat around the bush with mundane smalltalk?. If your answer is the latter then the chances are that your ex is not entirely happy with the breakup, they can't bear not being in contact with you.
Why Does Your Ex Keep Calling?
Generally breakups fall into two main categories. The first category is the no contact breakup, in this type of breakup one or both parties involved cuts all ties - no calls, no e-mails, no texts and defriended on Facebook, etc. The second type of breakup is more civil insofar as the lines of contact are still open, and both parties are willing to keep them open (for the short term at least).
A no contact breakup is painful, but a breakup with contact can be even more painful simply because the person that you love is still in your life. Every time he/she calls your heart will ache, they are so close yet so far away. The pain associated with a no contact break up is far more intense at the start, but tends to fade away as time moves on. On the other hand, the pain that comes with a breakup with contact is constant, it can go on indefinitely.
So why is your ex still calling you? The simple answer is they are trying to keep the path back to you clear. They may not want to restart the relationship right now, but the fear of losing you completely is just too much to handle. If they were really serious about the breakup they would have been ruthless, they would have gone with the no contact route and severed all ties.
Here Are Five Signs That Your Ex Is Not Completely Finished With The Relationship -
1, Your ex asks your friends and/or family how you are doing on a regular basis. Basically, your ex is keeping tabs on you, they are trying to gain an insight into how your life is progressing without asking you directly. In your situation most people will tell their ex's that they are doing just fine when in reality they are not. Your ex is fishing for the real story
2, Your ex shows up on your doorstep because he/she was "in the neighborhood", or comes up with a really lame excuse for being there. If your ex doesn't have a legitimate excuse for arriving on your doorstep, then the only logical reason is that he/she is there to SEE YOU.
3, Your ex is still calling you, texting you, and messaging you via Facebook and other social media. The only reason your ex would do this is to maintain a high profile and let you know that they are still in the picture.
4, Your ex "just happens to be there" on nights out. Ok, they just might happen to be there once, or maybe even twice, but if your ex makes a habit of this then you will know that it is not just mere coincidence.
5, Your ex wants to keep you in their life as a "friend". In other words, they want to know what you are up to.
The truth of the matter is your ex wants to keep you firmly in their sight. In a roundabout way they are letting you know that they are still interested. They may try to convince themselves otherwise, but believe me, if they were not still interested in you they would not go to such lengths to keep an eye on you.
Your ex does not see the end of the relationship as permanent. They may be still in denial about this, but it is a fact that they can only deny for so long. Eventually the person that you love will have to face up to things and admit that the breakup was a huge mistake. That said, this may not happen until you coax them into a position where they cannot deny their feelings for you any longer.
What Do I Do Now?
Being dumped is one of the most soul destroying things that can happen in a persons life. It is essential that you get an insight into the reasons why you were dumped if you are to progress and achieve the goal of getting your ex back.
Knowledge is the key. Knowing how to win your ex back will take the guesswork out of your situation. Most people approach the situation all guns blazing from the completely wrong angle. You need to KNOW the right techniques to get your ex back, and how to apply them.
Article Views: 7477 Report this Article