If you've recently experienced the pain of an unwanted and unexpected breakup, you're probably consumed with one thought. You want your relationship back, and you want it back now. While there is no magic wand to instantly fix a broken relationship, there are some proven techniques that can increase your chances. If you put your mind to it, you can turn the tables and get your guy and your relationship back.
Women who are hell bent on revenge rarely ever win. It may seem like vindication is a strong motivator, but it burns out over time. In the end it will only make you feel worse. You will have given up your chance to get him back for nothing. If you sincerely want him back because you love him and you believe your relationship has a good chance of working out if you can just get it back to begin with, you're in luck. It is possible if you get up and think about it clearly.
Get In Motion - Develop a Plan
Clear thinking is easier said than done, isn't it? Just when you think you have a handle on things, something reminds you of the way things used to be and you go into a tailspin. You're sick of crying and you know that something has to be done. It's terrifying to acknowledge the possibility that your guy is out there meeting new people and possibly dating. It's time to move out of your head and into the real world, and it's only by taking appropriate and well-thought-out actions that can accomplish your end goal.
Don't put yourself in your own way - you have enough to deal with without setting yourself up for failure. While many solutions may seem simple, easy is not always best. Sometimes things take time, and recovering a broken relationship is not an easy process for anyone. That being said, it is a process that is worth the payout if you have the patience and determination to pull it off intelligently. Make sure that thinking clearly is your number one asset - and not your worst enemy.
It's been difficult for you to respect his wishes and keep your distance. It seems like talking to him is all you can think of doing and that's normal. Don't beat yourself up for missing him - but don't ruin your chances by infringing on his personal space either. Although it may seem otherwise, he's dealing with his own issues surrounding the breakup right now and the best thing you can do for him is to let him. Contrary to popular belief, reestablishing contact too quickly can actually work against you. Don't set yourself up to fail - use this time to prepare yourself for what's to come and give yourself the best chance possible.
So what can be done? What steps can be taken to make sure he wants you like he used to? Are there any steps that can be put into motion quicker?
There are absolutely a lot of things that can be done right now and your options are wide open. The best solution is probably to show him that he may not be the king of the mountain after all. Nothing will shock your ex-boyfriend more than being faced with the reality that you're moving on and you're not hung up over him anymore. He's paying careful attention to your actions right now despite what you may think. How you behave right now is crucial to how he sees you, and it's high time that you show him what he's potentially missing out on for good.
Gaining the Upper hand - How To Capture His Attention
Since you're avoiding contact with your ex at the moment, you're already moving in the right direction. Once you've done that, your ex has the time and space he needs to recognize the reality that he misses you. That never would have been possible if you hadn't distanced yourself from him to begin with.
Once you've distanced yourself completely from all traces of contact with your ex, he's going to realize that you're no longer spending all your time trying to convince him to change his mind. You're looking to the future and you're no longer hung up on the past. He's going to start thinking that you may be over him after all. Nothing will capture a guy's interest more than the feeling that they're being left behind - even though they made the decision to leave initially.
The fact that you're no longer chasing after him is going to hit him like a ton of bricks. You have successfully started reversing his train of thought, and you're definitely on the right track. Initially, he's going to focus on what you're not doing - you're no longer calling him or texting him. You don't seem hung up on the relationship anymore, and you're not asking him about it.
After a short time, he's going to stop focusing on what you're not doing and start wondering about what you ARE doing instead. If you're not busy focusing on him, what are you up to? Are you interested in someone else? Did you have your eye on a new guy before he ever ended things? Are you really over him for good? Those questions are all going to be pushing him into action quickly. The last thing he wants to do is watch you walk out of his life permanently - and he's going to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Your Ex Is Still Bound to You Emotionally
Your relationship probably spanned weeks, months or maybe even years. Spending so much time with another person builds bridges between people that can't be toppled by a single event. Getting over those feelings takes time, and your ex hasn't had a significant opportunity to address those feelings and make them vanish. That means all those emotions are still there, and now they're being brought back to the surface.
You can encourage this process without overstepping your bounds. There are currently boundaries between you and your ex, and they can't simply be shattered when you want them to be. You need to work quietly in the background and allow him to make his own conclusions - nine times out of ten, they're going to land in your favor.
Having a guide in mind goes a long way to getting back with your ex-boyfriend. That way you know ahead of time what you intend to do and you're not left with split-second decisions that could either work out in the end or ruin your chance completely before you realize what's gone wrong.
Your Next Steps
The next stage is the exciting one, because you can begin to see a change in the way he acts around you. First thing is first though, you will need to make him miss you to be able to make him realise that he has made the wrong decision in breaking up with you. Another good idea is to make him want you back, there are certain psychological techniques that allow this to happen, follow the techniques properly and you will see a change in him.
After you have implemented these strategies, you will have to be on the look out for clues that they are having an affect on him. There will be specific signs he still loves you, so make sure that you pick up on these so that you know that you are on the right track.
Article Views: 18322 Report this Article