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Relationships do not always have the fairy-tale endings that everyone longs for. Sometimes they come to a heart wrenching and sudden end - often without the other party's permission. If you've recently been dumped, you know the feeling of pain and loss all too well. All your friends are going to jump on the bandwagon to either help you try and get your ex back - or get you to move on without them. Some of that advise may be good, some may not - ultimately how you proceed is up to you. If you want to maximize the likelihood of success you need to plan your strategy carefully, and that means going into it with your eyes wide open, your emotions under control - and a lot of persistence and patience in your corner.
Step #1: The More You Protest the Longer you'll Have To:
If your first reaction to your ex's breakup speech was to fight back, you can't be blamed for your impulsive response. It's human, and it's completely expected. Unfortunately, however, it is also highly unproductive if you're genuinely interested in getting your relationship back. Your ex has their reasons for deciding to break things off. That doesn't mean they're good reasons, but they're reasons nonetheless. Denying them is not going to make them disappear - it's going to ensure that they linger on indefinitely.
If you only leave with one piece of advice and chuck the rest away, this is it. Come to terms with the fact that your relationship (at least for now) is over. Once that hurdle is crossed, you can work on the more positive elements of rekindling your lost romance and making it a part of the present.
Step #2: Don't Linger Too Long:
If you think that lingering around will eventually allow you the opportunity to work your way back into your ex's heart and mind, you're mistaken. It's a common mistake to make, especially in emotionally charged situations where your instincts often work faster than your mind. Going against your gut right now can be a pivotal move, and one that will pay off a lot higher than you ever dared to imagine.
You probably don't want to hear this piece of news, but it's a vital part to understanding the overall puzzle. While your ex isn't necessarily getting a sick pleasure from seeing you suffer, it is a form of reassurance. If you're hurting, you had real, genuine feelings for them. Recognizing that means that your ex knows they're cared for and wanted - and that knowledge can actually move your breakup forwards. Conversely, reversing that reassurance can leave them off-balance and put their security on edge. You don't need to lie or play games to get back in their head - you're there already. They simply need a shift in perception - and your absence is going to be the extra push necessary to push them over that edge and back to the place where they remember you fondly.
Step #3: Recreate the Magic of the Past - and Start with You:
Obviously you can't make your ex change. You can, however, take this opportunity to be honest with yourself. What's changed about you since the time you and your ex first met? Have you changed physically? Has your personality undergone an extreme makeover? What do you think drew your ex to you initially? Are you still that person underneath, or can you recognize distinct differences between the version of you they left and the one they first got together with?
Taking a hard look at yourself in many different aspects can be an eye-opening experience - and one that is going to be profitable regardless of the overall outcome. It never hurts to acknowledge areas that may not be where you want them to be. Everyone has things about themselves that could use improvement. Focusing on those areas now can not only make you more confident, it can also make you more attractive, both to your ex and to others.
Step #4: Don't Chase After Your Ex - Let Them Chase You:
When your ex ended your relationship, they never imagined that they'd be in a position where they would have to pursue you again. No matter what they anticipated, that was the furthest thing from their imagination possible. Ultimately this is what is going to push the balance in your favor. Instead of maintaining all of the control, they're now on the vulnerable side.
They try to alleviate this vulnerability by making small efforts to open communication with you again. Truthfully, however, their plans should not succeed. Instead of jumping on the first opportunity to talk to them again, you should leave them guessing. This will amp up their game and put them in the hunter role - and you're the ultimate prey.
It takes a lot of foresight to turn a breakup around. The best laid plans often fail to work out how they're expected to - and when you have no plan in place whatsoever you're playing with fire. Don't let your dreams go up in smoke - prepare yourself and stay strong. Your determination and dedication is going to be the deciding factor in winning back your ex's heart.
What To Do Next
Okay, so you ow understand the fundamentals. Now it is time to up the ante and put these techniques into practice. First of all, you have to avoid common break up mistakes at all costs. These will force you to look at your own behaviour and understand how it looks to your ex. After that you should be implementing the no contact rule with your ex. If you get this part right your ex will be the one that is chasing you instead of the other way round!
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i told my boyfriend to take a week space from me to sort out his feelings. i was hopeful that things would work out as he was always telling me that he loved me and had strong feelings for me. but all of a sudden he said that he wanted to be single and had doubts about our future together. i did cry but i did not beg him to stay. i said sorry for any hurt i had caused him and thanked him for showing me love. very hard but i did it with as much dignity as i could. but i never understand why he dont want to stay with me. but before he left he told me i am irresistible, lovely warm person etc but he just want to walk away from my life. the pain was awful. our getting together was fateful and we found out our birthday both 1st june. he is 43 and i am 44. it was weird. i thought we were made for each other. he deleted my numbers but i never let go of him. i wanted him back but he has made up his mind so i had no choice but to look for a way to get him back so what i did was to look for a spell caster to help me get back my lover fast as possible, when i came across prophetharry@ymail. com, so he did a love spell for me and the spell came out perfect, my lover reconciled with me and we came back together and since then we have been in peace and the lover is flowing perfectly julie
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