Ok, so you want to win back your ex boyfriend, but in your current state of heartache and confusion you are really at a loss as to what to do. You might be thinking--if I am to get my ex back, then I need to get out in front of him by constantly calling, texting, and emailing him. Wrong! Back off now!

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly” Sam Keen

I strongly believe that if you are going to be successful at winning back your ex then you need tough love tips on how to win back your ex

1. Back off. Relax and stop pressuring him. You must immediately stop talking about how you are going to win your ex boyfriend back, the break up, and your hurt feelings. No one likes to be pressured into doing something, and most people will go to great lengths to not do something when they are feeling pressured. After things cool down a little and there is no pressure to get back together, he is much more likely to be willing to do what you want.

2. Recreate the environment that existed when you first met. Remember how natural it was when you first met? Remember how magical that time was? Remember how effortlessly everything seemed to fall in place? There was no pressure back then, was there? Your ex-boyfriend willingly became attracted to you and fell for you, right? You will never recreate the environment that existed at the beginning, if you continue to bringing up "heavy" subjects and pressuring him. Instead, do the exact opposite.

You should try to become a little more carefree and bring more harmony and laughter back in to your life. Be yourself and create some mystery. That is what he loved about you back then, so create it again. You need to get back to YOU. When we are in a relationship, we become US, which is fine, but you are not in a relationship right now so become what he fell in love with. Remember you? Create some new mystery and you will win back your ex boyfriend.

So, when you do meet up with your ex boyfriend, please remember to be yourself, keep it light, and laugh. I am confident that was the way things were when he fell in love with you. Remember, if you want to win back your ex boyfriend, you need to "get out of your own way!" and let him rediscover why he wanted you in the first place. How about a new sexy dress or hairdo that says, “I am a new, exciting and fun woman and you should take notice of this before you miss out.” He may not say anything, but he will notice.

Winning your ex back will be easier if you make sure you give him the gift of YOU--that exciting, carefree, and mysterious woman that he once could not stop thinking about. Give yourself and him the gift of rediscovering you and soon the goal to win back your ex boyfriend will be accomplished and you will discover the magic of making up.