You can win back your ex boyfriend if you understand some things about the way a man's mind works. Learn exactly why he broke up with you in the first place and what you can do to win back his love.

Look at why he broke up with you in the first place

A good place to start on your journey of winning back your ex boyfriend is to look into why he broke up with you. This will help you understand what was making him unhappy so that you avoid doing this again and will help you go about rectifying possible mistakes that you have made with him.

I'm not saying that it was your fault that he dumped you, men have reasons of their own for walking out of relationships. However, it would be beneficial to be honest with yourself here so that you can see if you were the problem or it was something much deeper.

He may have said things in the weeks and days leading up to the break up that you didn't take much notice of until now. Try to think back to when you were together and look for clues that he was unhappy or was thinking of ending it. He may have stopped taking an interest in what you were doing with your life. He could have dropped hints that he felt suffocated or that things were getting too serious.

Men will usually not say things straight out and will beat around the bush in an effort to protect your feelings. If you were talking a lot about the future or pressurizing him into things this could have gotten his defenses up and he may have felt like he was being controlled by you. Men do not want mother figures as girlfriends, so look back at your interactions with him to try to find out what went wrong and when.

What if there are no clues and you did nothing wrong?

This is the predicament of a lot of girls after they have been dumped. Sometimes the break up can just come like a bolt from the blue and it doesn't make any sense. You may have been very happy yourself and felt as if everything was going very well. Do not blame yourself for the break up if this is the case. You have to try to see things objectively and put yourself in his position if you want to make him regret his decision and want you back again.

Accept the break up and retain your self respect

The important thing to remember is that you have to come out of the break up with your self respect intact. This is crucial if you want to get him back in the future. Anything that you do following the break up will be remembered by him and he will judge you accordingly. The last thing that you want to happen is for him to be put off you for good by acting in an unattractive and desperate way.

The best thing that you can do is to agree with the break up, at least initially anyway. Then you will be doing something that he doesn't expect and it will throw him off-guard. You will also consequently rise in his estimation if he things that you have lots of self control and that you do not need or want him as much as he thought you did. This may sound strange to you, but men work in very different ways to girls and there are certain things that they find attractive - maturity and independence.

When you let him know that you are okay with everything and wish him the best, he will immediately get frightened that he has lost you for good. You see, he will have expected you to react in a certain way after the break up. When you don't do this you will be leaving him on shaky ground. If he cannot anticipate what you are thinking or feeling he will realise that there is a big chance that you could move on faster than him. He will not like this and begin to panic.

Walk away

Once you have parted on good terms and agreed with the break up, it is time for you to walk away. This is not a permanent measure of course, you just want him to think that it is. Try not to show any emotions either. I know that this will be extremely difficult given that you ache inside and the last thing that you want to be doing is walking away from him. You must understand that it is for your best interests in the long run however.

When you have walked away you will have to maintain your aloofness. That means that you should not be contacting him under any circumstances. There is no point in breaking up and then always being in contact like you were before. That shows no restraint and it will not create a void in his life. You have to make him see that without you he is lost and this will then help you to get your boyfriend back.

Your Next Step

Now that you understand a little bit more about how guys think after a break up, you need to learn to avoid these break up mistakes at all costs. If you do any of these things it will spell disaster for your chances of getting back together with him. It would also be useful for you to read the signs he still likes you so that you can know where you stand and what your chances are of getting him back.