Recovering from a broken relationship is hard enough already and it only becomes more so if you are thinking of winning back your ex boyfriend. You can't afford to play games here - one misstep could send you plummeting off of the cliff and down into never-land, where you have absolutely no chance of getting your relationship back at all. You don't get graded on a curve - you have to bring your "A" game right out of the starting gate. That's where these three steps can come in handy.

#1 - Break Away without Breaking Down:

While breakups may make you want to throw in the towel and give up on the outside world at large, that mentality is only going to hurt you - no one else. You can't give up now and simply daydream reconnecting with your ex - you have to go out and make it happen. That means that you have to realize that there's something to get back. Unfortunately, in order to do that, you need to realize that your relationship is over. You can think positively and keep hopeful, but don't hang your hat on a hope. To turn things around you're actually going to need to take action. Coming to terms with the fact is just the first step along the way.

Additionally, if you're still going around in circles and talking to your ex-boyfriend, you need to stop. The sooner you stop talking to him the sooner you can put the rest of your plan into motion, but you cannot start the process while the lines of communication are still open. Who do you miss the most in your life? Is it the people you see every day or the ones you haven't seen in a long time? The answer is the latter. The same principle applies to your ex. If you're always around, he'll take your presence for granted. In order for him to start realizing what he's missing and get him back, you need to be missing first. Cutting contact completely is going to accomplish that in one big leap - not in a bunch of typical teeny steps that end up getting you nowhere.

#2 - Wipe the Mental Slate Clean:

It's time for a complete change of attitude. While it seems impossible to think of anything else in the world at all other than your ex, you need to find a way to create a positive distraction and stop living in your mind. If there are dozens of half-baked projects lying around your apartment, challenge yourself to get them all done. If you've always wanted to try surfing or horseback riding, find a place where you can go try it first-hand.

While you're at it, throwing yourself into physical exercise should be at the top of your agenda. Not only does it combat fatigue, anxiety and depression naturally without harmful side effects, it will give you a much-needed ego boost. Having all the guys at the gym starting at you won't hurt either.

#3 - Turn to Outside Interests:

If you simply can't find something to keep you occupied, you're missing your most valuable resource. Friends and family members will probably be lining up at your door to comfort you, offer advice or suggestions, participate in a guy-rant or take you out on the town. Your support network is there for when you need it, and you never need it more than after a particularly disheartening breakup. Don't be afraid to reach out - and expect a lot of open arms, willing ears and comfy shoulders to cry on when you do.

Now that you're in a positive place, you'll be able to notice a few things that may have previously slipped your attention. After a breakup, a guy has certain expectations that are largely based on past experience. He most certainly didn't think that you would let him get away without putting up a fight. Of course, you have ulterior motives - but he doesn't know that. As far as he can tell, you've moved on and left him in the dust. You're happy, you're enjoying your life and you look better than ever.

Suddenly ending the relationship doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore. Your ex will start to backtrack, realizing that he may have made a mistake. The more you stay away, the more he'll come after you - and pretty soon you will get a phone call asking you to meet up for coffee or lunch. By embracing the positive and living in reality instead of psycho-land you've managed to revamp the way breakups work. With these weapons in your closet, the next step is easy. You've got him eating out of the palm of your hand and chasing you again. You didn't have to beg, plead or pitch a fit to get his attention. Not only are his thoughts of you positive, they're also enticing. He'll be after you for a second-shot and you maintained your composure and self-confidence like a champ.

Your Next Steps

To win back your ex boyfriend you have to take things up a notch. You now have a general idea about what to do, but there is so much more that you need to learn before you see your ex boyfriend again. Using the no contact rule to get him back is your best bet right now. You need to be able to understand exactly how it works in order to make him crazy about you again.

Are you interested in knowing how he really feels about you? Then you need to look out for signs he still loves you. Being in the know will go a long way for your self confidence and allow you to know where you stand with him.