If you've always wished that there was a handbook that could guide you through the process of winning back your ex-boyfriend, you're in luck. You probably recognize that not all the advice out there is going to lead you in the right direction, and with all of your friends telling you something different it's often hard to know which direction to turn. Instead of sitting down with a 500 page book that leaves you confused and frustrated, these three steps can get you started in the right direction, all by focusing on the positive and avoiding common mistakes that could ruin your chances outright.

#1- Walk Away Neatly:

Walking away without a messy scene can be accomplished in two parts. The first thing you need to do is purely internal. You have to come to a point of acceptance that the breakup is a reality. It's going to hurt like hell and it may be tempting to simply block it out and deny that it ever happened. The longer you live in denial, the longer your breakup will continue. You need to come to terms with the situation for what it is - only then can you move forward.

Secondly, you need to put a no-contact rule in place immediately. Don't wait for a few weeks of back-and-forth exchanges that often end heatedly on both ends. After the breakup you need to stop all contact flat. You can't continue to communicate with your ex-boyfriend and realistically expect to get back together. While it may seem counter-productive, eliminating contact is going to be one of the secrets to your success.

#2 - Refocus Your Attention:

Since you're suddenly left with a lot of free time, put it to productive use. Nothing can spell disaster for a no-contact policy faster than an idle mind. Spending a lot of time alone at home makes your resolve disappear, so keep busy and don't give those nagging thoughts the time of day. Your best bet is to get up off of the sofa and get outside.

While you're outside, it can't hurt to get back into the swing of regular exercise. Whether you like cycling or running or just a full on circuit at the gym, your body gets a ton of benefits from regular physical activity. It makes you look and feel great - inside and out - and has proven time and time again to be one of the healthiest, most reliable stress relievers available.

#3 - Allow for Outside Comfort:

No one says that you have to face this time alone. Take comfort in the fact that millions of people have experienced the exact same thing you're feeling right now - and your friends and family are there to support you every step of the way. Spending time with other people not only keeps your mind busy but it allows you some much-needed time away from the daily grind. Having a support system in place for the tough times allows you to stay true to your objectives and not give in to temptation on a whim.

These three steps are the foundation to getting your relationship back and better than ever. You don't want to continue a relationship that is riddled with the same problems that led to your breakup in the first place - you want to rebuild it from the ground up, with a firmer more reliable foundation. By holding true to these fundamental concepts, you've sparked an almost irresistible curiosity in your ex-boyfriend's mind. Sooner or later he's going to be reaching out and establishing contact again - and you can almost bet that it's going to be sooner.

Maintaining your dignity and self-respect throughout a difficult and challenging process is a real change from what he's probably used to. Not only will it increase his respect for you, but it will attract him to you again as well. Pretty soon you'll notice that he'll be pursuing you - and you didn't have to do anything negative to entice him. You should feel a sense of pride in all of your hard work and your dedication to yourself and your relationship. It's easy to succumb to bad habits when faced with an emotional situation and you stood your ground. If nothing else, that's something to be proud of. Take that sense of accomplishment and pride with you and you will notice that you're getting attention from more than just your ex.

Your Next Steps

Winning back your ex boyfriend is all well and good with the above tips but you also need to be aware of the mistakes women make after breakup. You are probably doing a lot of things that are damaging your chances of winning your ex boyfriend back, but you don't even realise it.

Want to know exactly how your ex boyfriend views you after the break up and what his real feelings are for you? Then you should be looking out for signs he still loves you. This will give you the confidence or confirmation that you need.