This Article is About
physical beauty
life goals
dear readers
golden rule
cynicism
skepticism
Give What You Want To Receive
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Dear Readers,

I dated on-line for a bout 3 months, only three months??? Yes really, three months before I met a most wonderful, incredible, sweet, generous loving man (okay, are you done gagging and throwing up? heheh). Yes, I consider myself vastly lucky. Believe me, I have read and heard too many stories about on-line deception, hart-ache, cynicism, skepticism, and all other “isms” you can think of. I have also read many blogs, articles, and reports from some reputable and some not-so-reputable informative sources about on-line dating (and “traditional dating”) and how to make the most out of it.

While many of us out there are (or were, in my case) looking for a relationship, and even “true” love, some others out there are looking for frivolity and superficiality, while others are not sure what they are looking for. Whatever the reason you are on-line or traditionally dating, there is plenty of advice out there for you to consider about what to put in your profile, how to attract people, what to say, what not to say, what kind of picture is best, etc, etc. I spent hours reading much of this advice. I also read hundreds if not thousands of profiles (what can I tell you, I was really investing time into this on-line-dating). Here is something to consider: Give what you want to Receive. Really? That sounds like the Golden Rule, right? And it might as well be.

So this is for those of you who are not looking for a “fling;” but for a deeper more stable relationship. Have you noticed that very seldom, and truly only a very, very few people out there consider WHAT they can offer to their prospect and potential or present suitors? Before you roll your eyes or (please) kindly dismiss me, hehe; I am not talking about your physical beauty or whether you have a fabulous job or not. I am not talking about you being “funny, smart, kind, outgoing, and-all-other-attributes-you-think-you-have.” I am talking about CHARACTER, PERSONALITY, life goals, and the essence of WHO you are.

All of us—ok, many of us—ok, some of us-- know what we want, right? (Not every body is so mind-clearly-defined, you know? Hehe). We know what we expect from our future-partners, what we are looking for, how we want to be treated, what we think we deserve, etc. Here is a challenge for you: Consider what you can give; think about your personal life goals, how do you plan to keep growing as an individual, as a person, as a partner? Think about how you can better yourself, about how you can change “bad” habits, where you see yourself in the future, how you can keep growing and developing your qualities and attributes.

Let me give you an example, I know a woman (no, it’s not me) who is hard-working, funny, kind, honest, and reliable. She is looking for a man with “x” characteristics. She has gone on many dates looking for “this man.” Every time, however, she has been disappointed and ends up thinking, “why do men don’t want me?” “what else do they want?” I think this is her problem: whether the men she dates are “good” or not, I have my own doubts, she already has the belief that she has a lot to offer (and she does) but because of that, she is “stuck;” she is not giving herself more room to grow and improve. She sees herself as a “good catch” therefore she doesn’t look introspectively as she already thinks she has “it all.” She does, however, look at the men she dates and measures them up to her own expectations, and when they don’t meet those expectations, she also dismisses them.

Please, do not get me wrong, I am not suggesting that you should change WHO you are for some one else or that you are not already fabulous for your own standards neither am I saying that you should not have expectations about who you want to be with. That is not the point (besides it would make you very unhappy in the long run). But how many times have I heard people say, “This is who I am” “I’m not changing for anybody else.” “Take it or leave it.” Right? This is taking a selfish, immature, and mediocre approach towards WHO you are. Look deep within yourself and be honest with yourself to consider that maybe, just maybe there are a few or plenty of things that you could improve, change, modify, and transform to make YOUR life better and in turn, to make you a better girlfriend, date, boyfriend, companion, and perhaps even a long-life time partner.

In other words, if you want someone with “x” characteristics and you have “x” expectations about someone else, do not think that they are not also expecting and wanting “x” characteristics in YOU. If you think about what some one else would like to have in YOU, and you take the time to consider who you are and what you can offer, you will be able to provide and share with some one a happier you; and in turn, you will be happier. Give what you want to Receive.

Best Regards,

Maya


Street Talk

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