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Go Ahead - Get It Off Your Mind
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Go Ahead  -  Get It Off Your Mind

Sometimes it just blows off the stress to gripe and get the problem off of your mind. There, it's done and I can stop thinking about it!

I can't really recommend you blowing up at a person you are angry with. This is usually counterproductive for you and can irreparably harm your relationship with the other person. Same advice for dealing with a company that you are ticked off at. But you don't want to keep carrying around the resentment and bad feelings! So what is a person to do?

To the rescue: make a complaint letter. But what if you are really good at yelling, but not-so-good at regular (and productive) complaints? Scott Pakin provides a Fabulous/Gratis Complaint Generator for you to use. The Complaint Generator utilizes computer AI (Artifical Inteligence) to "automatically generate humorously bombastic complaint letters by randomly stitching together words and phrases into meaningless but negative-sounding grandiloquence."

Perfect! Picture how you can just put in the person's name, answer if they are male or female, then specify how many paragraphs you want to generate. Sounds really easy. It is also all in fun. The Complaint Generator Scott Pakin provides doesn't know what you are REALLY ticked off about, so an unreasonable (and funny) substitute is generated.

Here is one I generated to my sister (the one I never had):

My Complaint About Miss Dotty Pendry

Half of me was reluctant to write this letter out of concern that Miss Dotty Pendry may be one of those people who say bookish things for the sole purpose of gaining attention. But given Dotty's track record, I have concluded that her contrivances have proven to be a complete disaster in both theory and practice, so I've decided to proceed.

The first thing I want to bring up is that I need your help if I'm ever to dole out acerbic criticism of Dotty and her phalanx of yellow-bellied subalterns. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, Dotty is completely inconsistent in her views. On one hand, Dotty insists that her debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research. But on the other hand, she favors reaping a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable mentally transmitted diseases. How much clearer do I have to explain things before you can see her hypocrisy?

It has been said that Dotty doesn't care much for airy-fairy things such as morality and integrity. I believe that to be true. I also believe that I have some advice for her. She should keep her mouth shut until she stops being such a sullen schizophrenic and starts being at least one of informative, agreeable, creative, or entertaining.

I assert that Dotty will probably respond to this letter just like she responds to all criticism. She will put me down as "temeritous" or "distasteful". That's her standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about her except the most fawning praise. If the mass news media were actually in the business of covering news rather than molding public attitudes to strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality, they would indisputably report that if you were to try to tell her habitués that one of these days, she will order her yes-men to rob from the rich but—unlike Robin Hood—give to insecure deadheads, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Dotty's abuse of free speech was not mounted in a few weeks. Rather, it evolved tenatiously over a much longer period of time, barely noticeable in its origins and graduating from a gradualism that provoked little notice, much less any real reaction. That's why it is now the time to introduce an important but underrepresented angle on Dotty's power-hungry fairy tales.

Before you read this letter, you might have thought that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. Now you know that the culture of arrogance that permeates Miss Dotty Pendry's den of thieves leads many members to impose theological straightjackets on scriptural interpretation.

You can see by the generated example letter that it is much more witty and heart-stopping than anything that I could create. I almost feel sorry for the bad sister that I never had... But a heaping dose of humor and laughter can go a long way toward changing your mood!

If you are craving more information, go here: pakin(dot)org/complaint

Street Talk

I love it, this is a sure fire way of off loading steam and correcting the mind set, without destroying anyone or any friendship. Love it Love it LOVE IT

  about 1 decade ago

Rob you made me laugh! Thanks

  about 1 decade ago
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