So, you want to get your ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship, whether married or not, that's a good place to start. You've probably invested a lot of love and time into it, and don't want to see it thrown away without at least trying. Here's how to win your ex back.

First, take inventory of your feelings. Do you still care deeply for your ex? Most of the time a relationship reaches a stage where the passion is no longer the driving force, and a comfortable level is reached. Often times that's when the trouble begins, but just remember, that doesn't mean that love and passion aren't there. Sometimes the passion gets covered up with complacency and just plain old comfort, but it's still there. If so, then you're ready for the next step in winning ex back.

And the next step is examinig how they feel about you. Do they or did they have the same feelings for you? If the problems were more superficial, like communication issues, then you can get back with your ex. If the problems are deeper, and perhaps they tell you they don't love you any more, it can be much more difficult and you may consider just moving on.

If you determine that you both had or have mutual deep feelings, you can begin to work on things that will bring you back together. Think back to when you first got together. Maybe you were more involved with your friends or other activities, perhaps you were generally happier. Has your work situation changed or some other stress in life causing your attitude to be less than sunny? Maybe you've gained a few pounds.

As a relationship develops, you naturally begin to spend more time with your significant other, and do less of what you did before. Maybe some of those things are what attracted them to you in the first place.

If you want to get back with your ex, you need to go back to being the person they fell in love with in the first place.

Here's something that will help. Be careful not to appear desperate, even if you feel that way. Don't continuously call or text, and no following them around! If you appear more detached you will probably look more desirable.

This will also allow you to refocus on the things abput you that made them love you in the first place, which will make you happier anyway, You'll get closer to your friends and family again, and generally regain a more positive outlook on life again. All this will work towards getting ex back with you.

When you do spend time with or talk with your ex, use your past experiences together to your advantage. Dress and look like you used to. Mention good times in the past you had together in the contaxt of your current life, like "I went to Barneys Bar and Grill for lunch the other day. Remeber when we used to go there?" You probably have many positive experiences together, and you can use them to help you get back with your ex.

Also, from time to time invite your ex out to some non date type stuff. "come on down to Barneys, we're all meeting for happy hour". It'll show your ex that you have a life without them, and a pretty darn fun one at that.

The bottom line is this. Just be yourself. That's who they fell for in the first place, and if you try to fake it, it won't work anyway and you'll be miserable trying. By being more of who you really are, you'll show a confident, attractive side of yourself to your ex, and if they still have any feeling for you at all, you can win your ex back!