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extra marital affair
flood gates
cheating on your spouse
hurt and pain
good person
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How Do You Handle Infidelity In Your Marriage After Your Affiar
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The day you started to move away from your marriage. Started cheating on your spouse and had that extra marital affair. Cleaning up the consequences of your actions will never be easy to take. Just think for a moment.....You will need to be ready for the possible explosive reaction from your mate. Also you will need to handle your own fragile feelings. Nothing is going to be easy in how you handle your spouse's feelings (and rightfully so), and in order for you to handle the situation better, you will need to consider how YOU feel about your marriage also. You will need to own up to your behavior, be remorseful that you indulged in the behavior of infidelity.

But also keep in mind, if your feelings have changed and you find yourself having feelings for someone else, NOW may be the time to consider ending the marriage as graceful and compassionate as possible. OK are you able to acknowledge your infidelity and will you tried to work on your marriage? If you do not sincerely love the person you married maybe a greater change awaits you. But going outside the marriage doesn't mean you really want to put an end to the relationship as it is right now. But the one thing to ask yourself is; with your crystal ball in hand and you could see into the future and see all the hurt and pain caused, would you really want to do this again? Don't worry about why you had the affair. That is done and is the past; you cannot go back and change what has already been done.

At this stage of the game, most people will feel very guilty about their infidelity. If you really want your wife or husband to trust, forgive and accept you again, you will need to begin forgiving yourself. Please understand this concept will run directly in line with how you really feel and think about yourself. How will someone else believe you are a good person if you cannot and will not believe you are yourself? Once you find yourself ready to forgive yourself, then you will start open the flood gates to allowing total forgiveness from the significant other you say you love? Answer me this, how would hanging onto that guilty feeling help your marriage anyway? Let it go (it being the guilt), this will not by any way mean you are in love your spouse less simply because you are trying to get pass it. It really means you are traveling down a path that can really help your marriage, instead of continuing to criticize and down yourself over the past.

So do you really expect your partner to give you their trust again into the foreseeable future? You may have no choice but accept that behavior. Need I remind you if you were concerned about trust in your marriage, you probably should have thought about making better choices concerning your past. But........did you...No? So now you should be as considerate, understanding and loving when you see your significant other is stressed out and anxious and ask you; where have you been all night or who have you been talking too. It will probably take some time for your partner to get pass their anxiety about the infidelity, and quite frankly they may or may not never totally get pass the infidelity. The one thing you will need is to commit to your partner you will be patient, have understanding and show compassion.

During the times your partner has those unfortunate anxious feelings. Tell me what will you do to help and assist your spouse get pass the infidelity? If you start to get upset and defensive, then your partner will just put up his or her guard, and where would you be then, I'll tell you...... you will be exactly right back where you started, in the same place that you were in when the one you love found out you were cheating. You will need to assist your spouse in finding some emotional closure concerning your infidelity. You must do whatever is asked of you to support your partner find their emotional closure. If you may have to check in or call your spouse many times each and every day, then you just do it! Especially if you plan on saving your marriage, this will demand of you to be where you say you are, and where you should be 24/7. That means 24 hours each day, 7 days a week or until your significant other can generate that trust in you again.

Are you seriously committed to really making your marriage work again? Start looking at your marriage with your partner as a fresh new start. If you would like a loving and good spouse, you need to be a loving and good spouse. Take charge of your impulses, actions and urges and realize you do not have permission to go around hurting people and causing havoc in people lives because like a child, you are not getting exactly what you want exactly when you think you want it.

Street Talk

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