If you didn't marry your first boyfirend or girlfriend right out of high school, you are probably one of the few people who never exprerienced heart break or breaking up. But for the rest of us we went from breakups to make ups and back again a few thousand times and by the time we settled down with our husband or wife, we breathed a sigh of relief that we were now immune to heartbreak and trouble in relationships. Really?

Statistics are alarming. And factual. They tell us that 60% of marriages are going to end up in divorce and that 22% of men and 14% women admitted to having sexual relationsh outside of their marriage. Alarming, but real. Should people even still bother to get married given that the odds are stacked against the relationship and 1 in 5 men or 1 in 10 women are going to cheat on their spouse? What if the spouse being cheated on is, dread prospect, You?

Now hold on. It is not all doom and gloom. Especially if you have found yourself in a situation with a cheating spouse or you have had a break up of a long term relationship. First things first, you need to look out for you. You are number one. It won't feel like it then, but you will survive the break up. But you need to do a few things that will ensure that you not only survive but that you continue with your life, maybe even in better circumstances.

Surround yourself with support. Call a good friend. Call a support chat line and just pour your heart out. You need this safe place because you are worth it.

You also need to keep yourself busy. Growing up, we were told "an idle mind is the devil's work shop". So true. When you aren't keeping your mind occupied you will start to ruminate and feel sorry for yourself and not look at things in perspective. You could even do crazy things that will endanger your life or others. It's not worth it.

Do something good for someone. Try to make it your day to day aim that to survive the difficult time you are going through in your relationshjip's end or your marital distress, you will do something good for someone. It will help you feel better and take the bitter, vengeful feelings you may have towards your ex to where they belong- far, far away from you.

Think to yourself " What could I have done differently?" This is purely for introspection purposes and not to put a great big old guilt trip on yourself. You are worth more than that. The idea is to think things through. Was it a minor indiscretion that I can forgive? Did I have a part in this by ignoring warning bells such as letting anyone and everyone into my home? And then you decide if it is worth fighting for and you gird your loins, either to fight to save your marraige or to move on with your life, lessons learnt and get a new love.

There is a way to avoid being a divorce statistic without living a life of hermitage or shaving your head and joining a silent vow monastery. Or doing something desperate like stalking the 'other woman' or holding on to your spouse when you should be working on getting your marriage back on track. I can say all this because I have been there!

Yup, I demanded that he tell me where she worked or her home address so I could serve her adultery damages papers in front of her mama with heart trouble. No need to guess that he didn't give me either. I can tell you all this because I want you to wipe those tears and call off the pity party.

You can save your marriage and get your ex or spouse back with some guidance, work and believeing in yourself and your relationship's worth.

Be good to yourself. Give every thing your best shot. And then and only then move on.

I am in your corner!